With All The Te’o Hoopla I Totally Forgot To Congratulate My Dad On CRUSHING His LA Times Interview
By Sam Farmer (SANTA CLARA, Calif. — Every member of the San Francisco 49erscan’t help but look up to a high school player. That’s because above his locker at team headquarters, each 49ers player has a picture of himself in high school, along with where he was ranked by scouting services at the time. Coach Jim Harbaugh had a laminated sheet made for each player during wild-card weekend, which the 49ers had off, then surprised the players with them when they reentered the locker room after a meeting. The scene was like the day high school yearbooks are distributed, with players going from locker to locker, checking out what their teammates looked like as kids, comparing notes on who had a higher national player ranking, or who was ranked higher in his particular state.
“Coach really wants us to tap into what we wanted to be at that time,” said safety Donte Whitner, whose team plays at Atlanta on Sunday in the NFC championship game. “When you look at this picture, it’s like, ‘At this moment, what did I want to be?’ We all look at this and we understand what we wanted to be, and where we are now.”
Harbaugh declined to elaborate on why he had the photos made, but team spokesman Bob Lange said the coach “wants the players to be able to interpret the reason for it in any way they want.” At Harbaugh’s request, Lange and his staff spent several hours gathering the photos and scouring high school scouting services to find information on all of the players. The pictures from high school effectively connect players with their past, reminding them of their childhood hopes and dreams and…
Boom. Robby Lange coming in HOT! Oh Sam Farmer, you want to know the secret to Jim Harbaugh’s motivational techniques? You want to know what makes the Niners tick? What hidden messages Harbaugh is relaying? Pffft, take a fucking hike bro. You’re on a need to know basis and Clubber doesn’t think you need to know.
Totally aside, do you think Robby has his own Laminating machine? I bet he does. I bet he’s the best laminator on the West Coast.
Now cue the music.
2 Times!
PS
If the Niners win on Sunday I sort of have to go to the Super Bowl right? The question is, do I tell Robby I’m coming so he can get me a ticket or do I just show up at the Niners practice facility as a surprise. I think surprise. My dad loves surprises.


send him a congratulatory email with an e-card
thats gold jerry, gold
“My dad loves surprises” – can’t stop laughing! Big Cat, bring your dad a Teo shirt
I cant believe you are still milking this, and it keeps getting funnier…
If pres doesnt pay for your New Orleans trip he’s no longer a mogul
this shit is hilarious
You are super creepy I have a feelin Robby’s gonna wake up to you spooning him and he’s not gonna be pleased
Is Robbie a secret hardo?
The eyes are spot on bigcat. You can really see how much effort you put into these paintings hahah
Fire, like, whoa
I’m just going to say it…this has never been funny
Am i the only one that had to type “what is catfishing” like a fucking idiot into google to make sense of all this catfish talk?
New to the chicago site, how and why did he become Big Cats father?
The moment your dad acknowledges you on twitter, priceless
Goodell better watch his fucking back! Lange is coming for his job and doesn’t need a coup to get it!
Big cat, you’re the true mogul here. (TM)
Big Cat you deserve your share of half of barstool’s stock. Funniest dude on here next to prez
Taking a video of a still photo of Robby on your computer screen with the Batman music playing is one of the most bizarre yet hilarious things I’ve seen on this site. Keep doing you, Big Cat.
Now that you found your daddy, time to reveal that you’ve been trolling stoolie nation and you like to write shitty blogs under an alias of “Neil”
wait…so your dad is the guy who broke up the schwartz-harbaugh altercation? that’s pretty fucking cool. never been more disappointed in my dad in my life than right now. the question is, what the fuck are you doing here, bro? NFL, and football in general, is like the entire purpose of living for me, my raison d’etre, as the french say. like it takes something like the Newtown school shooting to briefly shake me out of if it and recognize that football news does NOT count as current events. if i were you, i’d be washing towels and jerseys at the 49ers training facility trying to work my way up the ranks through some good old fashioned nepotism.
Lol @ dro. There is no way he is trolling noseface style.