No one wants to read a 5,000 word preview on how bad the Cubs are going to be this year. I don’t want to write it and you don’t want to read it. So instead lets do this preview Big Cat style. Pictures and gambling. Simple to read. Just how I like it.

Now cue the music for the 2013 Cubs, Lets do this…

 

Over/Under 72.5 Wins – Under

Wanted to take the Over. Really did. But I just can’t see it happening. 73 wins would be a great season with the talent we currently have. The starting pitching is better than last year but still not great. The bullpen just isn’t that good. And with the amount of young guys in the lineup I see a lot of .500 baseball with a few 7-8 game losing streaks mixed in. 70-92. Book it.

Sidenote – I think I’m going to bet every Cubs weekday afternoon home game this year. 100 dollars flat. Just for the laughs. Good idea or Great idea?

 

Anthony Rizzo will hit 30 home runs this season

One of the few bright spots on this team. Can’t wait until he wins MVP in a couple of years and I retire off the profits of my Rirro Shirts.

 

April 18th Rangers vs Cubs 1:20 Weather appreciation day with Cheryl Scott

Just an FYI for everyone

I’m going to sniff your hair!

 

Alfonso Soriano will be traded by July 15th

You know what’s crazy? I’ll sort of miss him. The outfield hop, the swinging at every pitch every thrown to him, the absurd truck, the 2-3 absolutely baffling errors a year. It was fun Alfonso, not really, but you get what I’m saying.

 

September 23rd Zubazpalooza

Kind of ingenious by the Cubs here. September baseball means nothing for us, so why not make it mean EVERYTHING. Free Zubaz. Oh Fuck Yeah

Hot Chicks, Summer, Not everything sucks

 

Jeff Samardzija Will win 15 games

Think this is his breakout year. Call it a hunch. Call me a prophet. Whatever. Just know that 2013 is the year of the Shark

Kind of impressed with my shark. Scary right?

 

Starlin Castro will take a step forward -

Click to ENLARGE

If he’s’ a future perennial All-Star/MVP Candidate, this is the year where he needs to take a step forward. Less errors. More plate discipline. Increased power numbers. I believe.

 

Wrigley

Look, I’m being realistic. I know the Cubs are going to suck this year. But even with that said, I’m happy baseball is back. Because there is nothing like Summer in Chicago. Nothing. And part of what makes it so great is Saturday afternoons sitting the bleachers. So yeah, we’re rebuilding, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have at least a few good times. And besides, like the Cubs PR department says, we all need to stay “Committed”