Ukranian Bro Flying On A 50 Day Bender Tries To Open The Emergency Door Of A Plane Mid-Flight Because He Thought The Wing Was On Fire
CNN - It’s a cautionary tale: Capping off a 50-day bender with a transcontinental flight may cause confusion. A Ukrainian man returning from a trip during which he “got drunk and stayed drunk for the entire 50 days,” according to court papers, faces federal charges after attempting to open an emergency exit moments after his flight landed. Details of the commotion are contained in a federal complaint filed by the U.S. attorney in Utah.
The complaint says that as the plane was descending, Anatoliy N. Baranovich, 46, woke and started yelling in Russian that the wing of the aircraft was on fire. Passengers wrestled Baranovich when he tried to open the emergency exit shortly after landing, documents say. Later, Baranovich told investigators through an interpreter that he thought the plane’s wing was on fire and was close to scraping the ground. According to the complaint, he also “stated that he got drunk and stayed drunk for the entire 50 days” of his visit. The drinking continued while traveling back to the United States, but Baranovich “could not specify when, how much or where he consumed the alcohol.”
See this is my issue with airlines. They never have any fun. Can’t let their hair down for one second and get a little loose. Always have to be so uptight and conservative and stringent on the following the rules. It’s so tiresome. Like did anyone even check to see if the wing was actually on fire? Clearly not. Obviously they just went ahead and wrestled this Ukranian bro to the ground and treated him like a criminal. No respect for the fact that the dude was on a legendary 50 day bender. No appreciation for a guy on the home stretch of doing something great. I mean for 2 months this guy acted out on his liver with the same reckless abandon as Paula Abdul finding out she’s pregnant. Just sent a flash flood of Popov, mixers and cocktails through his system and was man enough to come out the other side only to have his celebration cut short by a bunch of Nancies tackling him at the finish line. Lighten up airlines, you ain’t so bad.
haha
you are so bad at this
Oh boy. This is gonna get ugly.
plane was already on the ground; no harm, no foul.
“ooo ya dude wicked fucking legend” “lighten up airlines” ya…nice 1 dink, real sweet take. This blog sucks
Consecutive days without a funny Neil blog: 294
Neil, a “rule” against opening emergency door in a non emergency is just like almost any other “rule in civilized society. In fact, several of these “rules” against things such as “manslaughter”, and “forceable rape” are keeping a protective shield between angry Stoolies and you.
Nice Popov reference…it’s made in fucking Somerville, MA…I’m sure it’s a huge hit with Ukranian alcoholics.
im running out of clever ways to tell you how bad you are neil
i think at this point, my 1 vote for the presidential election will have more of an affect on the outcome than me telling you how bad you fucking suck hoping for your suicide or getting fired. however, i will continue the onslaught. F-blog and go fuck yourself.
fuck you neil your sarcasm is weak, as per usual.
Just terrible. At this point we shouldn’t even be mad at you, Neil, because you can’t fire yourself and nobody really thinks you’ll quit or kill yourself, because you would have done it already. Pres needs to stop the bleeding.
So you are still in mid-flight when the plane has landed? Shit man, thanks for the heads up I never knew that