This Whole City Is Crawling With Motherfuckin Coyotes
[Source] - This is a coyote “patrolling” State Street. It’s supposed to be there, say the police. And it’s not alone. Chicago’s Cook County now has over 60 coyotes fitted with radio collars (plus a good many uncollared ones) roaming parks, alleys, yards and thoroughfares in one of the biggest cities in America. The animals earn their keep eating small rodents, especially rats and voles. The Cook County, Illinois, Coyote Project calls itself “the largest urban study of coyotes in the world.”
We have tracked the coyotes day and night and located the collared coyotes more than 40,000 times. This allows us to peek into the hidden lives of urban coyotes. We use results from this unique project to answer common questions regarding coyotes in urban areas.
Their first animal, called “Big Mama” was caught in 2000. “She was a young, transient coyote that was not a member of a group,” says Dr. Stan Gehrt of Ohio State who directs the project. By 2002, she had settled down with an uncollared male friend (called, less warmly, “Number 115″), in a heavily-developed area a few miles from O’Hare International Airport. Together Mama and 115 have had at least six litters, producing 45 babies, and those babies now have babies. Big Mama’s large family seems to live very discreetly in Chicago. People hardly ever see them.
Had to get this story out tonight. Sorta my duty to the Stoolies to let you know that if you plan on going outside tonight or tomorrow or next week or ever again in your entire life you’re gonna get eaten by coyotes plain and simple. Sucks to say but the proof is in the pudding. They’re already running around State St and banging like a bunch of horny Catholics reproducing like crazy. Big Mama and Number 115 popping out 45 babies by themselves in just a few years. Scary shit. Downtown Chicago’s gonna look like Jumanji before we know it just instead of monkeys running around it’ll be coyotes murdering people and dragging their corpses through the streets. Don’t let it be you guys.
PS – Seriously what the fuck is this all about. How could this be okay with authorities? It’s motherfucking coyotes! They’re killers goddammit!

da proof is in da pudding? What is this a cooking show or what? Numba one don’t putcha proof in da pudding… You want to put it in pudding, Einstein?
I hope one rips off your balls so you won’t contaminate this Earth with your offspring
Only a pussy like Neil would be afraid of coyotes
Maybe one will bite your dick off… Oh wait you would have to have a dick for that nevermind.
This is for sure what the Manas were talking about.
Mayans* taking a lap.
You realize how small coyotes are, right? By the time my black lab was 12 weeks old, he was scaring them away.
sick blog neil
Dammit Neil. I have been reading Barstool for 3 years and was excited for the day Chicago got their own site. It’s only a matter of time now before Prez calls Barstool Chicago a complete fail and takes this away forever.
Didn’t I see tonight’s Chicago Smokeshow on a Froot Loops Box?
every time you say “plain and simple” a small child dies
smoke today was horrible
Coyotes should not be in the city
Neil you pussy coyotes are smaller than black labs. They eat rats, rabbits and geese. I’d love to think that a pack of them could ambush you outside your apartment and rape/eat you but that probably ain’t in the cards.
don’t want to be a dick but today’s smoke doesn’t qualify
Dude you try way too hard.
In defense of todays smoke, Neil is a queer, so like all gay guys, he describes every girl as “really pretty.”
I really don’t know the worst thing to look at is, your blogs or Joakim Noah’s face. Both are extremely ugly in their own right
Nice choice with the fatty for smokeshow, you got a great eye
I see the Chicago PD is finally putting collars on all of neil’s “smokeshows”
I have a serious question…. Do you understand how to construct a proper sentence?
your duty to the Stoolies is to stop blogging
there’s the neil i know and extremely dislike!
QUIT adding P.S. you fucking douche! it’s like your thing, your signature…a guaranteed fail
I can handle all the Neil bashing, but blasting yesterday’s Smoke is fucking bullshit. I rubbed one out to her this morning over a cup of coffee in less than 45 seconds. Great rack. Plus bashing Smokes is like shooting yourself in the foot. Why do you fucking morons think the comment sections are closed on those? Because you don’t want the fat, unemployed dickheads on here fucking everything up by commenting on whatever they think is wrong with some chick they’d have 0% chance with in real life. So bash Neil. Go ahead. But lay of the Smokes. I’m looking at you @braska and @baseballz you fucking faggots.