KFC is throwing boulders from glass mansions.

So KFC decided this morning that I wear Skinny Jeans. News to me. According to the tag on my jeans they’re Boot Cut. Hey Kevin, sorry my legs are diesel from all the crossfit box jumps I do. Sorry every pair of jeans I wear could be considered skinny. They’re called squats, maybe mix a couple rounds in between your donut workout.

I’m not going to bash KFC because I’m a keep it in the clubhouse type of guy. I’ll take the high road. The more important issue here though is people who wear “Loose” jeans. I don’t wear skinny jeans but I sure as shit don’t wear loose jeans either. If you wear loose jeans you’re either poor, fat, or a wannabe gangster. Its the opposite of fashion sense. Next thing you know KFC is going to tell us we should all start shopping at Old Navy because the long sleeve polos with the horizontal stripes are a great deal. Something like this.

Yeah bro. Lets all dress like we’re 9 years old again because that’s the last time I wore a pair of loose jeans.

If you¬† wear loose jeans you’re way behind the times, plain and simple. And for anyone who wants to tell me wearing plaid is gay go ahead. First of all I spend roughly 10 hours on Sundays sitting in front of a TV, therefore I dress for comfort. And second, It’s called seasonal dressing and guess what, I look hot in the fall. September through December its flannel and puffy vests all day everyday.

Love everyone saying I’m a little overweight. Had no idea that was what bulk muscle mass was called these days.

Double PS

Initially for my rebuttal I was going to just wrap my dick in a piece of denim and be like, How do you like these skinny jeans KFC? But I thought that would be crossing the line.

Triple  PS

Yes I won Bears tickets and no it wasn’t rigged. It was actually WhiteSoxDave’s raffle ticket but he went outside to smoke his 28th cigarette of the night and missed the announcement of the winners. I would say snooze you lose but I’m not sure whitesoxdave is ever awake.