Chicagoist - A penny saved may be a penny earned, but what do you do when you’ve amassed a small copper fortune? If you’re South Loop residents Emily Belden and Ryan Lange, you glue those pennies—all 59,670 of them—to the floor. The couple invested nearly $600 in pennies and has plated their bedroom floor entirely in Lincoln’s striking profile. Lange and Belden have never lacked for original design sense. According to Belden, “We had renovated the rest of our condo with cool things like zebra-wood cabinets in the kitchen, marble subway tile in the bathroom, etc., but the bedroom floor just had a cement floor. It was the only space that was unfinished and we wanted to go big.”

So they decided to live large on top of the country’s smallest coin. Requiring 128 man and woman hours, the project became a true labor of love, one that involved its fair share of back pain. But the process wasn’t entirely monotonous, mostly because the pennies themselves possess both aesthetic and historical variations. For example, the couple discovered an Indian head penny from the 1800s before Lincoln became president. They also made an exception to their heads-only rule and turned the pennies tails side when they encountered any wheat pennies, which were minted between 1909 and 1958 and feature two crescent sheaves of wheat on the Lincoln obverse.

 

How about these hipsters trying to find some sort of silver lining to this stupid fucking thing. We discovered an Indian head penny from the 1800′s! We found some wheat pennies from last century with different designs on the back! Well whoop dee doo you fuckin’ idiots! Try and sell me on that sentimental shit all you want, I’ll be focusing on the fact that you just wasted $600, 128 hours of your life, and probably blew out the L4 and L5 in your spinal column on a gay art project creating what is undoubtedly the most useless bedroom floor on the planet. Can’t wait until you pull the Dirt Devil out of the closet and suck up $17.68 of unglued copper vacuuming that piece of shit.

PS – These are the worst people to meet at parties. Talking your ear off for half an hour about their penny floors and zebra coated kitchen cabinets. I’d rather beat myself over the head with a crow bar than talk to people like this.