Asian penis, get it?

(Source) A sea slug that is able to detach, re-grow and then re-use its penis has surprised scientists. Japanese researchers observed the bizarre mating behaviour in a species called Chromodoris reticulata, which is found in the Pacific Ocean. They believe this is the first creature known that can repeatedly copulate with what they describe as a “disposable penis”. The study is published in the Royal Society’s journal Biology Letters. The sex life of the sea slug is complicated even before detachable organs come into play. I haven’t seen anything like this before”

Almost all of these creatures, which are also known as nudibranchs, are thought to be “simultaneous hermaphrodites”. This means they have both male and female sexual organs and can use them both at the same time. Bernard Picton, curator of marine invertebrates at the National Museums Northern Ireland, explained: “The genital apparatus is on the right hand side of the body. So two nudibranchs come together and one faces one way and one faces the other way, with the right hand side of their bodies touching. “The penis from one fits into the female opening of the other one, and the penis from that one fits into the female opening of the first one, if you see what I mean.

“They are both donating sperm to the other one.” But the finding that one species has added another layer of complexity to copulation surprised the sea slug expert. “I haven’t seen anything like this before,” he said. The Japanese team observed sea slugs that they had collected from shallow coral reefs around Japan. They saw the animals mate 31 times. The act took between a few seconds and a few minutes, after which the creatures would push away and shed their penises, leaving them on the floor of the tank. However, the researchers were surprised to discover that just 24-hours later, the sea slugs had regenerated their male organs and were able to mate again. Closer examination of the animals’ anatomy revealed that the sea slugs had a large part of their penis coiled up in a spiral inside their bodies, which they would then use to replenish their missing part.

 

Now I’m not positive I fully understand this article. In terms of reading comprehension I’m usually a pictures/tv show type of guy, not scientific journal guy. But if I’m understanding this correctly these slugs not only literally fuck themselves but they also can just get rid of their penis whenever they want and grow another one at the drop of the hat. How fucking awesome is that?

 

Scared of STD’s? Don’t want to get AIDS? No problem, just leave your penis in that skank you just fucked. Know that feeling the minute after you masturbate, when your computer screen is still open to the blaring porn and you sit there in utter disgust with yourself? Pffft, not anymore, toss that penis directly into the garbage can and get yourself a new one you didn’t just mutilate while watching youjizz. Shrinkage while swimming? Leave that dick in the ocean and grow a new regular sized one. Pair of jeans fresh out of the dryer too tight on your junk? Walk around penis-less until your jeans loosen up. Gay guy checking you out in the gym locker room? Toss him your old penis and tell him to hit the bricks. Seriously, the times when I could use a new penis are literally endless. It’s like owning a new pair of shoes. Why would anyone ever want to walk around with an old scuffed up penis when you can have a fresh one whenever you want?