[Source] - A Justice Center nurse was charged today with engaging in illegal sexual contact with an inmate in the downtown jail facility. Beth A. Ours, 37, was charged with one count of third-degree criminal sexual act, a felony punishable by up to four years in state prison. Ours is accused of performing an act of oral sex on a male inmate in the jail sometime during the month of April. The act is charged as a crime because the male was legally incapable of consenting to the conduct because he was in the custody of the Justice Center at the time.

Let me help the Justice Center out on this one. Just get rid of the law you have on your books which determines if a man was capable or incapable of consenting to a blowjob. The answer is always 100% yes. Yes he consents. Doesn’t matter if he’s an inmate, a free man, married, single, brilliant, retarded, black or white, the answer is always going to be “Yes I consent to getting my dick sucked” every single time. And the answer is especially yes if that guy is living life as Inmate #4518 in the state pen surrounded by dudes plotting to bang him in the shower stalls all day. I’m pretty sure if I was in jail I’d go toe-to-toe with Old Sparky for a few rounds if it meant I would be getting a blowjob from a nurse at the end. Probably end up dead or looking like Doc Brown but whatever at least I’d be able to get a good night’s rest for once.

PS – I haven’t listened to Blink 182 since I was like 14 years old but Enema of the State is still one of the best album covers of all-time.