CBS Chicago - Chicago’s great pigeon problem may have eased slightly, but it also has some residents crying foul over the fowl removal. Social worker Steffeny Smith was disturbed by what she saw last Friday in the 4700 block of North Broadway Avenue from an office window. As she describes it, two men shot a large net over 60 to 70 pigeons, trapping them. The birds reacted with great distress, thrashing violently. “I threw the window open because I was really triggered by it, it was just so horrifying,” Smith tells CBS 2’s Brad Edwards. “You could hear the pigeons crying. They were like smashed into the ground.” When she went down to investigate, she received an unusual explanation. “He said they’re carrying them off to Indiana,” Smith says.

It turns out, the nemesis of all pigeons is 46th Ward Ald. James Cappleman, who has already proposed a $1,000 fine for feeding pigeons. His office confirms there have been pigeon removals. “An Indiana farmer contacted us and offered to capture and take pigeons to his farm,” Cappleman Spokeswoman Tressa Feher said in a statement. “He wanted them alive.” Smith – no fan of pigeons herself – finds the whole enterprise unnerving, particularly in a distressed neighborhood like Uptown. “It was so bizarre and so disturbing, it couldn’t even compute to me,” she says. Any complaints that the practice might be inhumane are moot. The state’s Department of Natural Resources classifies pigeons as a nuisance. They are not protected. Smith wonders if the remaining pigeons have learned something, following the earlier removals. “What’s compelling is the feed is still here, four days later,” she says at the spot where she saw the capture occur. “None of the pigeons are eating this feed. They know.”

 

First off, how about this chick complaining about the pigeons crying after getting caught in their nets and trying to be the vigilante savior for all these idiots. Hey I’m pretty sure there isn’t a Rosetta Stone for speaking bird yet so cool it with the literal translations toots. Yeah they could’ve been crying. They also could have been asking for directions to Taco Bell. It’s a fucking pigeon. They’ve got brains the size of a nickel. If you really want to see crying get one of those things to take a shit on my new pea coat or my Clarks and you’ll see some real tears. Is that what you want? A grown man balling his eyes out in public trying to wipe pigeon feces off his clothes? Didn’t think so.

And second, how insane is this farmer in Indiana who wants all of the city’s pigeons? Guy seems pretty fucking tapped in the head. Even put that little caveat in there, “I want them alive”. Uh yeah no shit dude. We’re not gonna holocaust like 2 million pigeons and just dump them on your door step. Not really sure what the point of that would be. I mean I’m guessing 95% chance this guy is some sexual deviant with fetishes we didn’t even know existed. Probably films pigeon orgies and uploads them to Youporn Japan and gets millions of hits overnight. That or the birds actually help his farm in some way that I don’t know about because I know nothing about farming. But like I said, I imagine he wants them for something sexual.