Source - 1) Don’t drive drunk. 2) Don’t post about drunk-driving escapades on Facebook. The Oregonian newspaper reported an Astoria, Ore., teen broke both of those rules early on New Year’s Day. Police say they were investigating a hit-and-run in Astoria when they were tipped off to a Facebook post by Jacob Cox-Brown, 18: “Drivin drunk … classic ;)  but to whoever’s vehicle i hit i am sorry. :P “ Police went to Cox-Brown’s home and found his vehicle damaged. They also found pieces of his car at the scene of the hit-and-run. They arrested him and charged him with two counts of failing to perform the duties of a driver. The post has since been removed from Cox-Brown’s public Facebook timeline.

Everyone’s gonna laugh and point their fingers of shame at Jacob Cox-Brown (Hilarious last name btw) for posting this to Facebook but you know what? Kid didn’t even get a DUI. Just got two counts of “failing to perform the duties of a driver” which I’m pretty sure wasn’t even a real traffic violation until like 7 minutes ago when the cops charged him with it. I mean if you think about it the dude kinda figured out the perfect way to cleanse his conscience of this mess. He avoided getting the dooey stain on his license and the millions of dollars in fines that come with it and still came clean about the whole thing. Almost a win-win outside of the public shame and humiliation and everyone on the planet thinking you’re a pea-brained fucking asshole.