Source - North Carolina Republican state Rep. Tim Moore says that women can protect themselves from a new law that makes baring female breasts illegal by simply applying duct tape to their nipples. On Wednesday, the state House Judiciary Committee C approved House Bill 34, which makes it a Class H felony to purposefully expose “private parts” for the “purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire.” The bill expands the state’s definition of “private parts” to include a woman’s “nipple, or any portion of the areola.”

“You know what they say, duct tape fixes everything,” Republican state Rep. Tim Moore agreed.

 

See this is why I never understand it when people say the South is full of backwards thinking, socially conservative, out of touch individuals. That it’s ruled by rich white people with old money who hang on to tradition and avoid progression like the plague. Because make no mistake, a law that bans nipples is as progressive as it gets in my book. You know who walks around with their nipples out when you don’t make laws against it? Ugly girls. Fat chicks. Those feminist broads who do Slut Walk. Straight up ghastly individuals. And that’s pretty much it. So if Rep. Tim Moore wants to pass a law and look every gross chick in the eye and tell them to duct tape their cannons shut then I support him 100%. Bring those beasts out in public again and you’ll be doing 6 months in the state pen for a Class H felony honey. Like the man said, Duct tape fixes everything, even ugly girls.

PS – “Areola” is such a disgusting word. Yuck.