Marry, Fuck, Kill: Super Bowl WAG’s
Sarah Hinton
J. Marie
Courtney Eckhart
Quick introduction for those of you who don’t stay up late at night analyzing / beating off to NFL Wag’s: Sarah Hinton is 49ers TE Garrett Celek’s chick. J. Marie is with that goofy nosed bastard Colin Kaepernick and Courtney Eckhart is dating LaMichael James.
Now these chicks aren’t really stars in their own right so it’s really important to look at the intangibles of each girl. With that said right off the bat I’m banging J. Marie. Two big reasons behind that decision: A) Asian, B) If she can put up with dating that beady eyed motherfucker with the Port-nose behind center for the 49ers she probably has no problem having 3 1/2 minutes of terrible sex with an out of shape blogger with a half-mile forehead. Granted I don’t have as much going for me as a QB about to become a multi-millionaire, global sensation superstar but I get to call the shots here, not her, so whether she likes it or not I’m banging her.
Which brings us to Oregon darling Courtney Eckhart and Sarah Hinton. The all-American cheerleader vs the Hooters girl. Frankly I’m inclined to go cheerleader in that situation every time. Give me the classic girl next door blonde American chick all day and I’m a happy man. But there’s a big elephant in the room here and it’s sitting between LaMichael James legs. Bottom line is I just don’t know if I can go in for life after a black guy. Not sure if I can hear her say how she was So close that time every night before she goes to beat it to her ex’s Fathead poster and Youtube highlights. That would be absolutely brutal. At least with Hinton I can visit her at work, drink myself stupid, eat buffalo wings and stare at ass and titties for hours on end. And that, my friends, is what true love is all about. Kills me to say it but Eckhart’s fucking dead.
Marry – Sarah Hinton
Fuck – J. Marie
Kill – Courtney Eckhart
damn it neil, I picked the same 3, does this mean that ive dropped down to neil status?…well im gonna go kill myself right about now
sad to see a nice white cheerleader getting stuffed by a semi retarded black man
How the fuck is she asian you idiot?
How does Asian top your list of why you would fuck her? You small dicked faggot. Courtney Eckhart all day
Ugh. def would have fucked eckhart if you would have left out the lamichael james thing. had to kill that bitch
“But there’s a big elephant in the room here and it’s sitting between LaMichael James legs”… anyone who thinks that isn’t dead on is either a. lying. b. got a huge dick c. hates neil
I like this self-deprecating Neil… like a less funny KFC
Neil’s way of saying he wants to marry Celek, fuck Kaepernick, and kill James.
hahahah that was actually pretty funny. you’re learning you pasty fuck
that was an incredibly well thought out analysis. I don’t know if there’s an imposter at barstool, but lately I’m becoming a very big fan of Neil. Much better than all of ElPres’ in the closet blogs about dudes he wants to bang
can’t marry Eckhart, she bangs black dudes
In the order they’re pictured: Marry, Fuck, Kill.
I’m impressed little buddy, you’re on a roll as of late. For the most part.
marry Courtney….I would love to fuck that for the rest of my life
Fuck Sarah
Kill J Maria…That shits like a cave
J Marie’s body looks ridiculously hot.
Neil, this was actually fucking hilarious. Good shit.
Kill J marie all day. And lets be real here…although LaMichael James most certainly has a larger dick than me, he is one of the smaller players in the nfl. This isnt Vernon Davis wrecking this girl…its a little 5’7” speed back
Neil hit this one on the head beginning to end.
Didnt want to but had to kill Eckhart
Marry the white chick fucking the white guy. Kill the black chick fucking the 1/2 black guy. Fuck the white girl dating the black guy with the torpedo.
thought this was big cat that wrote this as i was reading. way to go neil. and dammit eckhart you mudshark
So it’s official, Neil has a tiny little dick…your boyfriend mus be so sad
@pappymason… 100% in agreement.
I thought Neil’s MFK would be the Jonas brothers
I’m not sure how you can be so certain LaMichael is swinging anything special after what we found out concerning LeSean McCoy, but intimidation is intimidation I guess. I would have to marry Hinton simply because I think she is the hottest of the three. Fuck Eckhart because there is nothing funnier than fucking a black guy’s white chick after he thinks he has turned her for good (did that once in the past and the reaction was priceless) and go ahead and kill the middle one because she is just not bringing enough heat to this party.
Definitely kill that mudshark and bang the exotic one. White girl sarah gets married by default.
A+ article
This blog was so good I assumed it was BigCat. Way to go Neil!
Lets be real here Neil you love cock so youd probally kill them all.
fuck fuck marry fuck fuck fuck fuck. Sarah Hinton. Did not even see the other two.