It’s Coyote Mating Season So Watch Out For Wild Animals Running Around The City Banging In The Streets Or Eating Your Face Off
Chicagoist - A pair of coyotes were spotted darting across the University of Chicago campus early Wednesday morning. Witnesses say the two toured the Midway Plaisance neighborhood through streets and public areas, starting in Washington Park, going through Jackson Park, then to the U of C campus. Authorities warn it’s mating season, from February to April, and coyotes will be more visible. Pet owners should keep their animals indoors.
Mating season is pretty funny if you think about it. Like if you watch that NBC video above you’re essentially watching a rape in progress. Not that rape’s funny but it totally is when it doesn’t involve humans. That male coyote is going to keep chasing that broad and eventually he’s going to catch up to her and R her and make baby coyotes. And that’s the animal kingdom in a nut(shell). Just hiding out for 10 months out of the year then biology kicks in and you have to go around sexually assaulting each other so your species can survive. Pretty sure if I was a chick coyote I’d just say fuck that noise and go rub against a tree for a few minutes then nap out for the rest of the year but I guess that’s what makes us different.
PS – I fucking hate coyote. They’re pet killers plain and simple. Basically animal nazi’s running around ruining people’s lives.