Telegraph – Porn actor Rocco Siffredi made a vow of chastity this week, to show his support for the national team in the football World Cup that starts on Thursday in Brazil, according to a video posted on his Facebook fan page. Looking into the camera as two young women sprawl on the bed behind him, Siffredi says, “Guys, I’ve had thousands of orgasms but there is one I will never forget. The one I had together with all of you. Do you remember when we won the World Cup in 2006?”

“So for that collective orgasm (to happen again) I am prepared to go without my orgasms. For the entire time our national squad is in Brazil I won’t have sex. It will be my chastity vote for the victory of Italy,” he vowed. “I foresee hard times, very hard, but you need to support me, you need to write to me, don’t abandon me,” he urged fans. “And to the 22 players who are in Brazil, I ask only one thing, let me at least enjoy you,” he said.

 

 

Is he giving up on jerking off? Or just sex? Because I could give up sex for the entire time the U.S. team is in Brazil. It would have literally no effect on my schedule. Now jerking off? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a patriot, but if the U.S. coach can’t be bothered to say we might have a chance at winning the whole shebang, then I can’t be bothered to not peruse xHamster on a hourly daily basis.

And if you’re a porn star, isn’t not having sex no big deal for you? If anything, it’s a vacation. Essentially, he’s just promising not to go to work during the World Cup. Tough life bro. Maybe up the ante. Show the I-ties you really care, you know. How about you come do my job and I do yours for about a month? That’s sacrificing for your country. You sit in a cube until Italy loses and I make a bunch of 12 second pornos under your name. You’d make Gandhi’s fasting look like a sunny gondola ride through Venice in comparison to that torture. Italia Unite!

 

 

P.S. Is orgasming together with your favorite sports team super encouraging for them? Or is that just an Italian thing? Because if it’s totally normal I’ll make sure to let B.J. Upton know that I’ll come everywhere if the Braves win the World Series this year. Like Peter North sized loads all over Atlanta. Planes won’t be able to leave Hartsfield because the runway will be so sticky. If we have another ice storm they won’t even need to salt the roads because I’ll have taken care of it. That’ll make him get the bat around for sure.