Ever since this commercial came out I’ve been sweating this kid. My brain tells me it’s illogical because he’s like 5 years old and still shits his pants and I’m a grown up and I have other things to worry about but I can’t help it. He’s in my head. He haunts my dreams. He is far and away the #1 problem in my life right now. Everything about him bothers me. One laser only does a little bit of damage? Fuck you Poindexter no it doesn’t. One laser would knock you the fuck out you little brat. And then there’s that little kitten to his left just eye-blowing the shit out of him. Staring straight at his junk like it’s no big deal. It’s nauseating. Hey slut you’re on national television! Keep it in your jeans. I hope these kids grow up and never learn how to read.