I’m So Sick Of Bieber Fever
Bro, ever heard of a bicep curl?
Last night was it for me. I can’t sit here and take this any longer. Pres may even fire me for this, that’s how much he loves Bieber. I don’t care though. If Barstool is For the Common Man by The Common Man, well then I feel like the common man’s voice should be heard, not a bunch of grown men who lust for an 18 year old half boy half lesbian. Enough. Bieber is over rated. He dresses like a gay super villian from 2095. He’s weak. He doesn’t tie his shoe laces, which is honestly not a fashion thing its just flat out dangerous and careless. He had literally every girl at the fashion show going crazy for him and he did nothing about it. Rihanna scissored more of the girls last night than Bieber did. Not even sure his dick got hard. He’s Canadian! CANADIAN! Why do people forget this? Canada shouldn’t have anyone in the world more popular than any American. And guess what, I have the sneaking suspicion that Bieber is really fucking stupid. Completely banal. Historically dumb. I mean has he ever even gone to school? Does he even know how to READ?!?!? I’d rather be smart and American over rich and famous if I also had to be Canadian and stupid all day every day.
Can’t wait until he gets a crazy cocaine problem and ends up marrying Lindsay Lohan in a shotgun wedding and then moves back to Canada and has to work as a maple syrup salesman in Manitoba for the rest of his life. You want a real heart throb America? Well there’s one sitting right in front of you that you seem to always forget about. His name is Nicolas Kim Coppola Cage, and he is 100% man.
PS
Bruno Mars better watch out. I’m on a height kick this week and if he’s not careful I’ll figure out how tall he is. I swear to god I’ll do it. He makes Schefter look like Shaq.
Big Cat 4 Pres-2016, Finally someone said it. Hate Bieber
“I swear to God I’ll do it” has never been funnier.
funniest blog ive read all month
A+
Bra-fucking-vo!
with all of the horrendously shitty blogs neil has written, i am almost more certain prez will fire you over this.
I like bieber but that ps was gold
“which is honestly not a fashion thing its just flat out dangerous and careless.”
don’t know how or why that was funny but it was. good job big cat
99% chance he comes out as gay in the next ten years, but he probably ran through each and every one of those up-and-coming broads last night. They needed one of those kids with a towel on a stick that stand under the hoop at basketball games to wipe the floor under those dripping sluts
“He dresses like a gay super villian from 2095″ your stock is going up.
Big Cat that was great…”He doesn’t tie his shoe laces, which is honestly not a fashion thing its just flat out dangerous and careless” -from that line on everything was pure gold
His physique and forearm tattoo scream Auschwitz survivor
Can Bruno Mars get any fucking gayer. Looks like he should be on Fantasy Island… De plane de plane!
I hope Bieber and Bruno Mars both catch a real live grenade
Mars is 5’5″, anyone else hear that he used to be in a gay mariachi band?
Chive has bruno listed at 5’0; not a threat.
Big Cat- funniest blogger in the whole stool empire
big cat is becoming my favorite blogger, kfc step it up brah
This is why everyone knows Neil is a fucking joke. This is what a blog is supposed to be like, it has everything going on here. Just pure genius and I agree 100%. In fact, I agree so much I need some kind of advanced non-Euclidian, Calc III, Pythagorean, Sir Isaac Newton, Quadratic Equation shit to calculate just how much I agree. Einstein could not have come up with a theory to describe how much I agree much less figure out how this Canadian piece of shit ever got to be famous in the first place. Preach on brother Big…
I knew this was a Big Cat blog the second I read the title. Bravo.
Ohh… and that is the real Bruno Mars? I thought that was some kid dressed as him to kind of spoof him or something. Bitch is a smoke though, look at her fucking legs!
Those gloves are TRBL!!!!!!
A+. Nailed it.
I just signed up for an account just to tell you how funny that was. Best Ive read in recent memory.
when i saw the title of the blog (which was fucking awesome) i scrolled down PRAYING that it would be written by big cat….and it was. FUCK beebs
School? I didn’t need school. All I ever cared about were video games, and they’ve made me a millionaire. So, maybe I don’t know what the civil war was, or who invented the helicopter, even though I own one – but I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk.
I bet I can take Bruno’s hat, raise it above my head, and watch him jump trying to get it. He’s literally 4’10.
wow A+.. big cat please just start banging out like 20 blogs a day so that i dont have hurt my wrist scrolling past philly, neil, and pres/kmarko reblogs.. its so nice to see a blog about beiber that doesnt make me feel like i just got tricked into going to a gay porn site
big cat is a funny jew.
Fucking thank you for saying this. Goddammit I fucking hate him. And I’m not a hater for his popularity/money. When he loses all of his money in 5 years I’ll still fucking hate him. Him and Bruno Mars probably fucked each other last night.
P.S. Fucking love the Nic Cage shout out. Talk about how it’s his world and we’re all just living in it.
$1000 dollars says pres reads this and feels the need to blog about how he could fit beibs 3 inch dick in his mouth without spitting out the coffee he wasnt drinking.. any takers??
Can we nominate blogs of the year? Because not only is this one 100% factually correct but it was the funniest thing I’ve read in a while
Gettingmydickhaaahd. You clearly just thumbed up your own comments, who the fuck are you trying to impress you self conscious loser.
so fucking funny
I read “Pres may even fire me for this” and I started praying that Neil was the author of this blog.
Haters gotta hate, kids got game
I hate the kid but its mostly because he could have fucked about 99% of those models last night. Bruno Mars is definitely a certified midget
fuckin canucks
Bruno Mars looks like the baby Tito aborted bare handed
Big Cat is a hardooooo
Finally someone comes out and says it. Not sure who you are but Big Cat for pres. Seriously if you’re a male over the age of 10 and you don’t hate Bieber then you can just go ahead and call your friends and family and tell them you’re gay. Pres, you are a good blogger but honestly stop being such a grade A faggot. I mean yeah he’s rich and successful but the kid’s about as cool as getting a handjob on your honeymoon. Get your shit together Portonoy!
The only thing gayer than Pres loving Biebs, is that the rest of the Barstool staff goes along with it. Finally someone who isnt a homo.
The fact that you said Nick Cage is a great man ruined this blog..dude hasn’t been relevant since gone in 60 seconds
A+ blog. Finally someone at the stool rips this little dyke for the bitch that she is. love the vibe you’ve been bringing to the stool network. and when are you getting rid of neil?
My love of Big Cat blogs almost equals my hatred of Neil blogs
big cat will you please start your own site. please?
More important question, ever heard of the men’s section?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsI4jxtTaNA
no need to just have the feeling, he really is stupid… fucking brilliant with Nic Cage, an under appreciated american hero
This is honestly one of the best blogs I have read on this site. Big Cat, you sir are on a roll.
the kid from modern family lost some weight, good for him! ps – i think was the best blog in the history of the stool
http://womenofnoshavenovember.tumblr.com/