Capture

 

I’ve already changed my old 312 number to a new one. Had that number for a decade, now that the bandaid is off I may get a new number every week. Stay off the grid.

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I was deleting as I went and could never get under that 100 mark.

 

 

So in case you missed it yesterday Pres’s address and phone number got into the comment section. No sweat off my back right? Wrong. Because last night Pres posted a vine scrolling through all the numbers that had prank called him throughout the day. All the numbers plus oh would you look at that, Big Cat, who called him to partially prank him but also to talk about real world shit because you know, he’s my boss and it’s not abnormal to call your boss. Well once that happened I was done. Onslaught of texts and voicemails. By the end of the night I had gotten well over a 1,000 combined. Phone would not stop ringing.

 

 

Also, special shoutout to commenter “Sosa”. The tweet was a mistake by pres, mistakes happen, what can you do, Sosa though purposefully went and put my number in the comment section so that I got bombarded. So (you guys emailed and harassed him enough in 20 minutes that im taking his email down, sucks that I have a heart of gold) sorry Sosa, thanks again dude.

 

 

Now everyone not named Sosa, I don’t blame you for texting me, it was all in good fun and I’d like to think I took it in stride considering I texted a bunch of you back. So I won’t reveal anyone else’s phone number, even the dozen people that called me after 2 am.

 

Anyway, here were the best ones (hint, tits were involved)….

 

 

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I hope to god Swag Daddy was touched on my behalf, but again, not in a creepy way.

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Hey Big Cat’s number, lets ask him the penis size of another blogger!

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This one hurt.

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Nice Poppy Seed Bagel bro

 

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Some guy who thought I’d be impressed with his abs.

 

text

 

Interesting. *Starts to slowly take pants down*

dick2

 

NO NO NO NO NO

dick

 

 

Ab boy’s brother chimed in. What the fuck is with that family and pulling their shirt up?

 

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No chance I follow

 

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Legit question, and my response is honest. Liquor is liquor, who gives a fuck.

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This guy basically wanted me to rate his life. I gave it an A-

guy1

guy2

 

 

Some dude wanted to see my feet, must be Asian.

1

 

 

 

 

 

I got in a couple sweet group chats. Pretty solid grub sesh.

 

group

 

 

Dude sent me his girlfriend’s ass, said I could fuck her for a bag of signed skittles. I said deal.

ass

 

 

 

This kid wanted to buy me some mittens, kind of weird but also kind of considerate. Chicago is cold in the winter.

bears

 

 

Miley Cyrus’s phone number. Here’s a shocker, it wasn’t Miley Cyrus.

miley

 

 

 

 

 

Some people just wanted to complain about shit.

robford

 

 

Hey you know what’s weirder than telling another man you’re in bed? Telling another man you want to do a quick facetime with the bros.

bed

 

 

I saved a child’s life. Kind of a hero for this one.

finger

 

I don’t have Kane’s phone number so hopefully he reads this blog. Kaner, Lauren says Hi.

 

kane3

 

 

Solid tip.

 

tips

 

 

Not the Tits I was looking for.

tit

 

These are the tits I was looking for.

tits

Obviously NSFW but you’re a moron if you don’t click. LINK HERE, click next to scroll through

 

 

I like this guy, I don’t know why but I do

face

 

 

Finally some bro fired off about 40 pictures of Rob Schneider, thought that was pretty cool.

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All in all a pretty good night with the Stoolies, thanks to everyone who texted or called, hopefully we never do that again.