If You Do The Polar Plunge You’re Probably An Asshole. If You Do The Polar Plunge Fully Clothed You’re DEFINITELY An Asshole
Get some Bro
Thought Cheryl would go bathing suit. Fully Clothed. Heartbreaking.
So the Polar Plunge was on Sunday. And I have to say. I fucking HATE the Polar Plunge. Its like the Marathon except instead of actually doing something, people just jump into a lake for 2 seconds and then spend the rest of the day patting themselves on the back. I was watching the Hawks at Stanleys and I counted at least 20 people who came in with their stupid fucking shirt on saying they completed the Polar Plunge. Chest Puffed out like they had just finished the hardest thing in the world. Hey guess what asshole, I mis-time my shower like 3 times a week, do that thing where I step into lukewarm/cold water, you don’t see me acting like I just climbed Everest.
And of course all these people use the whole Charity thing too. Oh I raised money for charity. I had my mom give me 100 dollars for dunking myself in ice. FUCK YOU. If you have to tell everyone you’re giving money to charity, that isn’t even YOUR money, then you’re an asshole.
But more than anything. I was shocked when I saw the pictures from Sunday, and saw half the people were FULLY clothed. What the hell is that about? The worst part about the Polar Plunge is having to be outside half naked with no protection from the wind. Wearing a sweatshirt and pants ruins all of that. And don’t anyone say that being fully clothed and wet is worse. I get that its worse, when your Bear Gryllis stranded in Antartica. This was at North Ave. Right next to Castaways. These people would literally run in fully clothed, dunk themselves, and then run straight to the bathrooms where they would change into fresh clothes. Fuck that. Fuck the Polar Plunge and Fuck all these people. Next year I’m going in a full wet suit and raising money for the Human Fund. End of rant.
And to answer everyone’s question, yes, yes I would (if she’s of age)