EBAY

 

So Ferrari Guy won’t call me back. What the fuck is that about anyway? Read a fucking blog once man. Do you even know who I am? I’m like an F minus times infinity celebrity. That’s what you are too. We’re the exact same person. One of us blogs, one of us drives around topless in a Ferrari crushing life. With our powers combined maybe 1-2 people recognize us on Michigan Ave. Next level shit.

 

Anyway, since Ferrari Guy is Big Leaguing me I need a Plan B for a car. And look what falls into my lap. None other than Nic Cage’s 1988 Bentley. Sort of a match made in heaven right? I like Nic Cage. I’m a man who will only accept the finest Luxuries. I was born in the 80′s. And best of all. I got a nice 5k check from the insurance company for a down payment on my next car. Might take some tricky financing to use that 5 grand to purchase a car that retails at $150,000 but its Hollywood, we’ll just walk into the closest tennis club, grab ourselves a Jew accountant and make him work out all the messy logistics.

 

Things are starting to look up guys. Everybody’s talking at me, I can’t hear a word they’re saying, just driving around in Nic Cage’s car.