Now this doesn’t mean I don’t want the Bears to win by 50 points on Sunday, because obviously I do. And to tell you the truth, I think the Bears are going to smoke the Seahawks, which probably means it will end up being a nail biter but whatever. The point is, I really really like Pete Carroll.

Remember that scene in Mighty Ducks 2* when Coach Bombay was being a major hardass and all the players turned on him because he was such a dick? And then Hans reminded him how fun hockey is and then everything changed. They bring  that beach ball to practice and everyone is being all goofy and zany and awesome. That’s what Pete Carroll is like. Guy just likes to have a good time. Pranking his players. Rapping with Snoop Dogg. Signing TO for no reason whatsoever. It’s Pete being Pete. He’s a breath of fresh air in a day and age when every coach treats every game like its life and death.

If NFL Coaches were like Blogs/Newspapers Belichick would be “The Wall Street Journal” (Super serious all the time), Lovie would be “The New York Times” (boring as fuck), Andy Reid is “The Huffington Post” (Tries a million different things and all of them fail), Rex Ryan is a coloring book, Jason Garret is “USA Today” (constantly shoved in your face at your hotel doorstep but no one knows why), The Harbaughs are “American Combat Journal”, Mike Tomlin is “Ebony” (because he’s black), Norv Turner is Bro-Bible (Dumb and Incompetent) and Pete Carroll is Barstool Sports. He is us, we are him. Pete Carroll is my favorite coach in the NFL. He knows that life is too short to be serious all the time. Sometimes you just need to bring a beachball to football practice, Guess That Ass, and bump some Gin and Juice.

 

*Huge fuck up on my part, originally said D1. Beach Ball was from D2. I literally have both movies blended into one at this point and yes in my brain that 5 hour movie is the best movie of all time. Gotta be better than that Big Cat. Clean it up bro.