My Hatred For Tim Kurkjian Burns With The Fire Of A Thousand Suns
You know that guy you absolutely can’t stand. Whether it be a co-worker or a guy at the gym or maybe even a friend that you secretly hate, everyone has one of those guy’s in their life. Everything they do makes your blood boil. Small things, big things, things they don’t even know they’re doing. Everything. Well that’s Tim Kurkjian for me. And you know what’s crazy, I really don’t know why. I think part of it is the fact that he NEVER tweets anyone back which is quite possibly the biggest Hardo move in the world. To not even acknowledge that anyone else exists. Or it may be the fact that all he’s good for is name dropping front office executives and spouting off baseball facts that no one under 60 years old cares about. Like you think I fucking care that Albert Pujols is the third major leaguer to hit home runs in consecutive mondays to start the month of August? Fuck your stupid facts, fuck your stupid name drops, fuck your twitter snobbery and fuck your stupid face Tim.
PS
I’m having a hard time deciding what exactly Tim’s Breast hands look like. I mean mentally I can picture him sitting at his keyboard milking away about some no name pitcher who has A+ stuff because the Blue Jays janitor told him so. But I’m torn whether each hand is a Tit or if each hand has a set of tits. Or if its an actual real set of tits or an MS Paint set? What do people think?
Single Tits?
Two pair?
If Breast Hands can be NSFW I guess the next pair are. Would be the highest of high comedy if someone got fired for peeping Tim Kurkjian’s tit hands though….
I think I’m going with number 3. Just because those tits are pretty sweet and if you’re going to have breast hands they might as well be hot right?
Double PS
You know how sometimes a player will go on the 15 day DL for undisclosed reasons but everyone knows its because they’ve lost their mind? Pres might be putting me on that type of DL stint after this blog post but I don’t care, tit hands had to be discussed. I know it, you know it, and most importantly Tim “Breast for hands” Kurkjian knows it.
Hysterical, I’m dying at my cube thinking about tit hands. And for the record number 1 is the way to go
It’s not working out. You’re not funny and no one is interested in what you have to say.
amazing…
I will agree that “celebrities” not tweeting back at least some of their messages is a huge hardo move. I can’t even get an answer from the scrub that writes for the local Penn St. gazette or whatever they call it. Just answer the fuckin question, I know you read it.
Unmitigated hatred is always funny. Well played Big Cat.
Busterhymen, dont know what you just read but this was one of the funnier things on the stool in a while. @Numertwo is right, hate against these clowns is priceless.
So when he jerks off he titty fucks himself? That would be pretty sweet
Better than Neil
hahahahah i’m at work fucking crying…haha titty hands hahahah
Big Cat is killing it…I didn’t even know someone could have tit hands.
i dont really get the logic behind tit hands, but damnit big cat is a million times funnier than neil. you should probably start a mutiny and overtake.
So today’s guess that rack is Tim Kurkjian? I want a refund.
So today’s guess that rack is Tim Kurkjian? I want a refund.
You hating Kurkjian is like any Joe-schmo hating anybody famous… completely irrelevant.
Calling him a Hardo while you pretend that he should give a shit about your opinion or “scooped” stories is like a hooker calling a stripper loose.
Big Cat just won another follower on Twitter, hilarious….
It’s gonna be a sad day when ESPN hires you away from the Stool because of your trade breaking ability and ms paint skills
The real question is: if you have tit(s) for hands, do you bust a load right on them 100% of the time. I think an undoubted yes, right?
Fire Niel. Viva La Big Cat!
big cat is funny
if anyone laughed at this they are fucking gay
Pedrofartinez you are fuckin gay. Big cat is killing it and you never had a funny comment in your life