I Am Ready To Admit That I Am Horrendous At Answering Hypothetical Questions On The Fly
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@BryanBeer2
@KFCBarstool
@Jfeitelberg
@BarstoolBigCat
Honestly I don’t know if this is a strength or weakness but I am now ready to admit that I am HORRIBLE at answering hypotheticals on the fly. The questions this week were, if you had to marry one pornstar who would it be and if you had to sex with a fruit which fruit would you pick. And my answers were AWFUL. Puma Swede? Having sex with Oranges? What the fuck is that Big Cat? Who says shit like that? I legitimately am concerned for myself. And this isn’t just me trying to come up with a crazy answer, its the opposite, about a month ago we shifted to no longer hearing the voicemails ahead of time, so this is basically word association, whatever pops in my head, stream of consciousness. And the results have been nothing short of horrifying.
Sex with Oranges and old pornstars is some deep seeded fucked up shit. Like way down inside there. Parts of my brain I didn’t know existed. Years of therapy couldn’t fix that. Even last week I said if I could have my wife be any profession in the world it would be a Limo Driver. A Limo Driver. Like my wife would wear one of those silly hats and stand with the sign at the airport. What the hell is that all about? If I followed through with my answers I would be married to a 40 year old former pornstar, and while she was doing airport runs in her limo I would be at home putting my penis into citrus fruit and playing with my toy trains. Come on Big Cat, you have to be better than this bro. You just have to.
PS
I did nail that retarded baby hypothetical though. The answer is clear and if you disagree you’re just lying to yourself.
*Just went back and re-read this whole post to gauge where I’m at in life. My reaction…
Just because you said “Obviously I’m peeling the orange that I’m going to fuck” you got the question right.
Your self-deprecating humor is probably my favorite part of this site. Well, that and its ability to function as a masturbation warmup.
A+
Hypothetically speaking what would happen if BSS hypothetically fired neil? Would you say that hypothetically, that be considered hypothetical addition by hypothetical subtraction? and by hypothetically fire, i mean actually fire…hypothetically.
who doesnt wanna fuck an orange every once in a while?
Sex with a fruit? Gotta go with a melon with a hole cut out. Cantaloupes are filled with diseases.
More Arrested Development in May. Can’t wait.
put neil on kfc radio
Really wasnt sure where you were going with that Puma thing..tried finding any picture where you could reasonably say, “yeah i can see that” but I just couldnt…but hey to be fair Fietlbergs answer was equally atrocious
jesus man get yourself together. not trying to see you hanging from a ceiling fan on the next episode (as if I actually watch that garbage)
you should pre-write jokes and then when you inevitable answer another hypothetical wrong you can bust out something fire.
bananas son, always fuck the banana… The peel is just like a pussy… didn’t you watch Weeds?
Hahaha
Nothing wrong with old pornstars. I’ll take Racquel Darrien any day. And for the fruit? Gotta go with gaystoolie…
brb… gotta go jerk off back when I was in seventh grade
first of all you idiots clearly have never been to a mexican restaurant. yes they put rice in and yes guac is a topping but they arent stingy and won’t charge extra for it..stop going to chipotle
^you lost bro?
neil would marry lex steele.
Thank God, I pulled a KFC and was searching the girls immediatly,saw Puma Swede…shut my computer down for the night… and my dick
who is the creeper who never says anything on all the KFC radio episodes?
Big Cat you are by far the best barstool blogger. Feel the burn KFC