NBC - A Sri Lankan prisoner who tried to hide his cellphone during a search of his cell was caught out when guards heard a ring tone emanating from his rear end, according to a hospital official. The 58-year-old convict had to be admitted to the national hospital in Colombo where doctors later retrieved the handset, together with an accompanying hands-free kit, from his rectum.

 

Not going to dwell on this too much because it’s almost 3 o’clock on Friday and a ringing cell phone stuck in some prisoner’s asshole in a Sri Lankan jail cell is the last thing I needed in my life after the Internet just fried me all week. But how do you not go flip phone in that situation? I get that sometimes vanity kicks in and you just want to have that fresh cell piece in your hands asshole but it just seems that a flip would fit way better size wise. Also what’s up with including the hands-free headset? Honestly I think it’s weirder to include that than to hatch up this plan in the first place. Like I can almost wrap my head around sneaking a phone into jail. Not quite there but I almost get it. No idea why you’d decide to keep shoving accessories up there. Just poop the phone out and be happy you beat the system.