I don’t know if this has been addressed before. Last night was my first time seeing it. Easily the creepiest commercial I’ve ever seen. What the fuck is going on there? Obviously that dude is marrying this chick’s Mom. But why is he dropping bills on the Open heart collection for a 6 year old? Isn’t that shit expensive? Like I’m pretty sure the Open heart collection move is used strictly in “Whoops, Sorry I cheated on you and fucked that waitress at Jerry’s birthday party” or “I haven’t gotten a blowjob in 6 months, now you pretty much have to” situations. It’s a trick-up-the-sleeve card you pull at desperate times. Not the go-to move to make a 6 year old kid think you’re cool.

And what about the kid’s Dad? Where’s he in all this? I mean the only two options that I’ll accept are 1) He’s doing a 20 year bid for cocaine trafficking or 2) He’s dead. That’s the only explanation for moving in on someone’s kid after you steal their woman and drop the Kay jewelers necklace. I’m surprised the spot didn’t end with the girl saying “Thanks Mike!” and him leaning in responding, “You just call me Dad from now on” and giving her a wink and a pat on her confused little head.

PS – Lost in all of the whacky family dynamic bullshit is the total rookie-ball move this guy pulled in getting two broads that he lives with expecting pimp gifts all the time. Have fun with that dude. Poor girl’s gonna have TWO deadbeat dad’s by the time she’s 10 years old.