Source - Authorities in Orlando are investigating a report that $400,000 worth of diamonds were stolen from a man’s car after he left them in a bag on the front seat while he ate at a buffet restaurant. The 47-year-old man from New Jersey called officers and said his car had been broken into and a bag had been stolen while he was eating dinner Monday night. “The victim stated that the bag contained about $400,000 worth of diamonds,” Orlando Police Sergeant Jim Young told Young says authorities aren’t sure whether this was a planned diamond heist or if the thief just got lucky. “Vehicle burglars look for opportunity. In this case, there was opportunity of a bag sitting on the seat, so obviously the criminal took that opportunity and took that bag,” he said. 


So some people are scratching their heads reacting to this story and saying something’s not right here because who in their right mind would eat at a buffet for dinner when they have $400,000 in diamonds? Oh I don’t know, how about everyone? I mean it’s a known fact that buffets cater exclusively to the super poor and the filthy rich. Basically the people who don’t give a fuck. Middle class people with all their problems and stress never eat at buffets because they’re suckers. Can’t be counting calories or worried about stupid things like cholesterol and trans fat and mortgage payments when you’re plowing through 3 servings of fried chicken, lo mien noodles, beef ribs, potato wedges and 7 ice cream sundaes. You either need to be wealthy enough to throw money at every problem in your life or poor and depraved enough to want to eat yourself to death if you’re in that situation.

So yeah I get where his guy’s coming from. Not exactly sure why he left almost half a million dollars in jewels in his car. But I bet he doesn’t even care because he’s probably poor as shit now and gonna stuff his face with orange chicken and tater tots until he dies from cardiac arrest. And that’s the American Dream if I’ve ever heard it.