DM - A 23-year-old man was arrested at a Walmart yesterday after flashing his breast implants at fellow shoppers before spitting blood at police. Jeremy Owens, from Pennsylvania, was arrested for his alleged bizarre behavior at the Lackawanna County store. Police found him on a local bus which he then refused to get off. After he was arrested and put into a police car, Owens, who calls himself ‘Jamie’ banged his head against the window and cut himself, which allowed him to spit blood at officers. The 23-year-old was jailed for aggravated assault, drug possession, and making terrorist threats. He was not charged for indecent exposure.

Don’t really see how the Lackawanna County P.D. could arrest this guy. Yeah he was flashing his tits but in a way since he’s a dude he doesn’t have tits in the first place if that makes sense? It’s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. You can’t just keep Jeremy Owens locked up inside of ancient definitions of what’s male and female. Plus who hasn’t thought about walking around with some rockin’ titties for a day? Yeah it’s a little weird that this guy went the full monty and slapped a pair on his chest but I’m sure it’s a blast to grope yourself and rub those things against a pole or whatever it is chicks do. Just so sexist that this guy’s being discriminated against for being a guy.

PS – Pretty curious what kind of terrorist threats a 23 year old he/she drug addict is making in local Walmart’s and public transportation. Really hoping for a follow up story here.

PPS –  This belongs in here somewhere: