Louisville - Ellenberg Funeral Services on Highway 81 in Loganville closed down almost as quickly as it opened. It is now being reported that the owner, William B. Ellenger III, has had his licenses suspended following a series of bizarre incidents. According to CBS Atlanta, Ellenberg, who also is the owner of Metro Embalming and Crematory in Conyers, had his license suspended after it was reported that he dismembered an 800-pound body in the Conyers location in order to fit it into the crematory. Conyers police investigated and reported it is not a crime to do so. Permission needs to be sought from the family first, though, and it is reported that Ellenberg did not do so. 

CBS Atlanta reports that Walton County Sheriff’s Deputies responded to a suicide attempt by Ellenberg on Aug. 15 when he allegedly shot himself in the leg. He also is reported to have threatened the life of a former business partner. Ellenberg’s license was suspended on Sept. 20, but he can appeal the ruling. Ellenberg told CBS Atlanta that his troubles are the result of a woman scorned – the former business partner with whom he reportedly had a relationship at one time.

You know what’s amazing about fat people? For all their general laziness and lethargy, they never quit making everyone’s life fucking miserable. It’s like the one thing they just put a full 100% effort into every time. Even in death. Like this 800 lb behemoth here was one million percent the bane of every single person’s existence that came into contact with him over the course of his life. To every person, he was the worst thing on the planet. And then he FINALLY fucking dies and what happens? He gets his funeral director fired because he was too fat to fit inside of the oven and he had to be chopped up and dismembered like he was lying on Dexter’s kill table. Totally incomprehensible.

And the fucking nerve to charge this funeral director with a crime huh? Like do the cops think he enjoyed doing this? Think when this 800 lb pile of fat Kentucky death rolled in this dude started smacking his lips and rubbing himself like priest in the parking lot of a little league game? I mean who knows, working at a funeral home probably means you’re into some weird shit, but I think the safe bet is no.