Naples - A Golden Gate man was arrested Tuesday in an overdue rental van after authorities say he hit two vehicles, punched a police officer and defecated in his pants. Naples police began looking for William David Liddell, 45, after neighbors at a trailer park said they watched him hit a car on Marie Lane around 4:45 p.m., according to an arrest report. Witnesses said Liddell almost hit pedestrians as he sped away. Shortly after 8 p.m., officers on U.S. 41 East saw a 2012 Ford van with its driver side mirror missing, which matched the suspect vehicle’s description. The officers stopped the van when it parked at a nearby McDonald’s.

When Liddell saw the officer approach, he started the engine and put the van in reverse, an officer said. The officer opened the door and told Liddell he was under arrest. Liddell punched the officer, who returned a punch and was struck by the driver’s side door, a report said. The van stopped when it hit the patrol car. Liddell continued to struggle with officers as he was placed under arrest, a report said. While taking pictures of his injuries, the officer noticed Liddell had defecated in his pants, according to the report.

Well of course this guy tried getting away. He pooped himself. You know how fucking embarrassing that is? I pooped myself in 1st grade once and it was the most horrifying moment of my entire life. I was sitting there minding my own business learning about capital letters and I sharted myself silly. We’re talking a full plate of melted chocolate. Immediately started yelling there was a skunk in the school. Started screaming it from the rooftops. Had girls shrieking and teachers running around trying to figure out what was happening. It was chaos. And you know what? I slipped out of class, went to the nurse and said I was sick and had to go home and since then it’s been our little secret. Plus chances are she’s dead now so nobody will ever know. It was pure genius. So I’m with David Liddell 100% here. Can’t walk into jail with a full diaper. Doesn’t matter what you have to do, you get home, change your briefs and you do your bid feeling like a million bucks.