I’ve been mesmerized by this video since I saw it this morning. Probably watched it like 60 times. Absolutely running away with the fight of the year crown in my book. This fat 31 going on 13 year old redneck Chris Farley drunk off his skull facing off against a skinny, probably starving to death Ethiopian dude. High comedy folks. Now the video runs 5 minutes and 37 seconds and is worth a full viewing but if you’re strapped for time the actual “fight” starts around 2:23.
Here’s some highlight points along the way:
0:20 – 0:29: Ethiopian bro getting absolutely eviscerated by his woman screaming some gibberish Afrikans shit at him. Real bummed there’s no subtitles because homeboy and his girl were livid with each other. Dude probably ate the last ration of peanuts for the week or something and now the whole families gonna starve over the weekend.
0:36: “Don’t laugh at me!” Yeah okay dude whatever you say.
1:27: That “You fuckin’ puss!” line slayed me. Totally out of left field. I haven’t heard “puss” used as a putdown in years. A+ insult.
1:46: “Don’t fucking laugh at me!” Okay at this point I would actually stop laughing at the guy because I think his head is about to explode and there’s clearly some deep-rooted self-esteem issues being brought to the surface here.
2:15: Finally squaring off… “Yeah”
2:23: Boom! Ethiopean man with the dyn-o-mite backhand bitch slap. Totally caught redneck guy off guard. Solid move and probably totally legal where he’s from.
2:30: “You call the fucking police god dammit! Call the fucking police!”
2:47: ”I kick your ass!” – Get it Ethiopian man! Narrarate that shit!
2:55: You just knew that couch was going down at some point. Thing had Spanish announcer table written all over it.
3:08: Not for nothing but it’s pretty much a dead giveaway you both suck at fighting when a group of women walk in and instead of screaming and running away they jump right in to try and get involved and break things up.
4:06: Down goes fatty!
4:21: Obligatory “World Star” in the background
4:39: “I live here bitch!” Uh, bro you’re staying in a fucking hotel. You don’t live there.
5:10: Unreal final showdown. The 3 women surround the redneck and fuck his whole world up. Circled around him like the pack of hyenas in Lion King or some shit and just unloaded haymakers on the guy. Total twist ending and pretty much the perfect way to end the showdown if you ask me. Like I said, fight of the year running away. Would love if they kept meeting up and got like a Marquez-Pacquiao rivalry thing going. I’d PPV Round 2 in a heartbeat.