Chicago Tribune - A south suburban man is facing felony charges after police found thousands of pounds of cannabis hidden in buckets of frozen strawberries in a rental truck he was driving. Martin Rosas, of the 1200 block of East 147th Street in Dolton, was charged with possessing more than 5000 grams of cannabis, a felony. Police launched an investigation after learning of individuals involved in narcotics trafficking on the Southeast Side, the release said. Officers surveilling Rosas’ rental vehicle learned the cargo was frozen strawberries, but the truck was not refrigerated. Officers approached Rosas, who cooperated with the investigation, and a Chicago Police K9 unit detected cannabis, the release said.  

Officers found more cannabis and a handgun at Dolton’s residence, the release said. They also found hundreds of buckets of frozen strawberries and cannabis at a South Side warehouse. In total, police found more than 2,500 pounds of cannabis in more than 1,000 buckets of frozen strawberries, the release said. The cannabis was planned for distribution to major gang factions on the Southeast Side, the release said. Police estimate the drugs have a street value of $6.8 million.

No offense to the guy who got caught here but you’d think if you were hauling around $6.8 million worth of weed you’d try to blend in a little more right? Maybe hide in the shadows a little bit or work in a disguise or two. Maybe hire a nerdy white guy to ride shotgun with you. Basically just do anything that doesn’t make you look like some half-awake Mexican dude driving an unrefrigerated truck full of strawberries through Illinois on a 30 degree day in fucking November. I mean you kinda stick out like a sore thumb bro. Also, that’s exactly what your entire head looks like. A sore thumb.

Although I guess the good news from this is that with thousands of pounds of weed off the street, Kaht is going to probably skyrocket in sales. Just make its move on the local scene until everyone in the greater Chicago area is puffing down East African kaht root and getting weird together.