Source - 61-year-old Kevin Wallin, dubbed “Monsignor Meth,” will plead guilty next week to a “conspiracy to distribute 500 grams or more of a substance containing meth and 50 grams of actual meth.” charge. The suspended Roman Catholic priest was arrested earlier this year, along with four others, when Wallin was busted for selling meth to an undercover cop six times. With the help of wiretaps and informants, the Feds were also able to learn about other deals Wallin was making from his Westbury, Connecticut apartment, where authorities say he received the methamphetamine that netted him $300,000 in six months last year. Authorities also say Wallin used part of his drug profits to open Land of Oz, an adult video store, and Dorothy’s Place, a sex toy shop.

 

Gotta figure this is one of those totally frantic mid-life crisis situations. Guy’s life is just crumbling all around him. He’s pushing 60. He’s wasted his whole life as a priest suppressing every urge and desire he’s ever felt. His nuts are probably the size of a couple bowling balls right now. Soon he’s gonna have gays and lesbo’s with red equals signs tattooed on their fucking foreheads lined up around the block trying to get married. It’s probably a real frustrating, stressful time to be a Priest. Gotta deal with it any way you can. Some dudes are gonna buy an expensive car. Some dudes are gonna start selling high quantities of methamphetamine, collect 300 large and open up Wizard Of Oz themed sex toy shops.  Apples and oranges. They don’t call them the golden years for nothing.

PS – Are priests allowed to beat off? Is that a sin? Can you imagine just giving in some random day and shooting a ladder to heaven out of your dick after like 60 years of holding back? Probably so worth it.