Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Had Dolphin Sex, Wrote A Book About It And Now Doesn’t Understand Why He Isn’t Getting Work?
Source - Malcolm J. Brenner, the controversial author of Wet Goddess, the autobiographical novel of a young man’s love affair with a dolphin, relaxes on a computer chair inside a San Francisco apartment, gently stroking one of the two cats occupying the room with us. His red sweater is wiry and frayed, like the hairs on his balding head. He’s 40 years older than he was when he drove to a near-abandoned Florida amusement park with the intent to “make love” with a dolphin he had been photographing for nine months. The book, which he self-published, has gotten him fired from jobs and ended relationships, and with employers Google-searching most applicants, has made work hard to come by.
“How has your life changed? Do you ever think, “Maybe I shouldn’t have written a book about how I had sex with a dolphin?” No, because I was always worried I would die before I could tell this story. Getting this story off my chest has been a tremendous release to me, psychologically. I’m having trouble finding work now. I not only lost that job at the magazine, but more recently I was writing for a motivational speaker, or I guess a “guru,” and after a couple months I guess they looked me up on the Internet or something and just stopped communicating with me.And you know, that’s just fucking rude. If you’re going to stop working with someone then I think you should at least tell them why.”
So this story was originally posted by KFC back in 2011. Basically this guy Malcolm Brenner wrote a book which I’m assuming nobody on Earth has read going into graphic detail about the time he used to bang this slut dolphin in Florida for 9 months. And now he just gave a new interview complaining that he can’t find any work and he’s whining that former employees cut off communication and didn’t give him a reason for why they won’t talk to him. Uh hey bro, you fuck sea animals. That’s the reason. That’s literally it. You put your penis inside of a dolphin and banged her for almost an entire year. That’s longer than most humans have sex with other humans. You’re fucking tapped in the head dude. It’s not natural what you did. You don’t have a bottlenose and flippers and swim in the ocean and you’re not the mascot for a football team in Miami. Kinda surprised nobody’s pointed this out to you before. If you want to find work you should probably update your resume on Monster and leave out the part where you fuck living things that aren’t human beings. Not that tough to figure out.