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Waterbury, Connecticut police were responding to a call about a fight when they encountered this gentleman, Luis Santana, 32, running from the scene. Police ordered Santana to spot and he responded by throwing a parrot at the officers. The bird bit the cop’s finger and Santana ran off. Eventually, a witness led police to the man who, according to NBC Connecticut, was charged with “cruelty to animals, assault on a police officer, disorderly conduct, second-degree burglary and interfering with a police officer.”

 

 

The easy way to look at this story is to say wow, I need an attack parrot. Attack parrots are dope as fuck. They’ll bite a cop, they’ll have your back, they’ll do anything for you. Which is all true. But here’s the problem with Luis Santana. He’s a bird guy. You don’t want to be a bird guy. You don’t want to be any type of exotic animal guy. Birds, snakes, iguanas, ferrets, none of that shit. Because the minute you buy an exotic animal is the minute you start sliding down the slippery slope of life. You get a cute little parrot and next thing you know you’re being arrested for fighting and robbery and throwing birds at people. Just stick with a dog and play it safe. No need to re-invent the wheel here guys.

 

 

PS

I fundamentally don’t understand how throwing a bird is animal cruelty. Birds fly, it’s not throwing something if it can fly. That would be like being arrested for drowning a fish, makes no sense.