Does This Look Like A Priest That Claimed Jesus Anointed His Penis With The “Holy Spirit Divine Semen” So He Could Get Blowjobs From Chicks At His Church?
Source - Sobrino Valdeci Picanto, 59, was arrested in Apore, Goiás, Brazil, for raping several women attending his church. He gave as an excuse that his penis had been consecrated with “divine semen of the Holy Spirit.” A 23-year-old young woman, who prefers to remain anonymous said, “He has convinced us that only God could come into our lives through the mouth.” “Often, after worship, Pastor Valdecir take us to some of the funds back to the church and asked us to do oral sex on him until the Holy Spirit comes through ejaculation”.
Valdecir defends himself by saying that ‘he had an encounter with Jesus in a brothel and gave him the mission of spreading the sacred semen throughout the state, beginning with the faithful Apore Assembly, of which he is responsible’. Denise Pinheiro, delegate of the region, said, “Valdecir was caught red-handed while rubbing his penis in the face of a local merchant, which promised to make more sales in her business due to the divine liquid. When we act Valdecir offered no resistance and even asked if I wanted to be part of the kingdom of heaven on the way to the police station. He is not ashamed of such acts and thinks they are the most normal things in the world.”
Wait a second this guy got charged with rape? Huh? How does that make sense? Listen when you’re a Priest hanging out in a brothel and Jesus gives you the mission of spreading the sacred semen throughout the state, you do it plain and simple. You’d be an absolute fool not to. All those years of celibacy beating off in the rectory and hating your life because you decided to become a stupid fucking Priest and then the Lord and Savior himself comes down from heaven and rewards you for your dedication by telling you to get your dick sucked up and down the coasts of Brazil. Boom no problem Jesus. I can do that for you. Amen brother. I mean it’s not his fault chicks believed him and went along with it. Dude’s just a squirrel tryin’ to get a nut and bring people closer to God. Actually makes me respect religion a little bit to tell you the truth.


He also told them the divine liquid is good for the skin.
who’s to say jesus didn’t give him that nice holy dick?
Holy Jizzum! Dude got game.!
So that’s where Jaleel White went.
is that your excuse for taking nut in the grill Neil?
God told me to start a low-rate internet blog and call it BarstoolSports, but someone else beat me to it.
Go brush your teeth Neil
Urkel
this was a funny story and ruined it.
and you ruined it.
Did I do that