SourceA Maysville couple was charged Tuesday after being arrested for allegedly offering to sell more than 300 pain pills to an undercover Muskogee County Sheriff’s Office deputy. Jimmie Sumpter, 67, and Caroline Hawbaker, 66, are charged with unlawful possession of controlled drug with intent to distribute. Court documents state the pair met with the undercover deputy at Oktaha Road and U.S. 69 and attempted to sell Hydrocodone, a prescription pain reliever; Alprazolam (Xanax), a prescription drug used to treat anxiety and panic disorders; and Carisprodol (Soma), a prescription muscle relaxer. Grace said the couple agreed to transport the pills for $6 a pill, putting the value of the narcotics at $2,154.

“Our belief is that they’ve been doing this for a while,” he said. “We took a little more than $4,600 off them that we feel was gained off these pill sales.” “We’re focusing on this because it’s such a big problem, it’s outrageous,” he said. “You stop and think about it, $2,100 is a lot of money for pills. That just shows what kind of problem it is. I mean, while we were on the phone with them, they made two separate deals with other people. This was no small-time thing.”

 

First off I don’t know if Caroline Hawbaker’s face is literally melting off her head or if Jimmie Sumpter is just aging stupendously but it is downright hysterical that these two are basically the same age. Looks like this bitch could be his grandmother and she’s a full year younger than he is. I actually thought she was the dude in this operation and then I saw his picture and did a total double take. I just hope there’s some free healthcare in the prison she ends up in because I’m pretty sure there’s an extremely large tumor the shape of a nose growing underneath her eyeballs.

Anyway my only thought when reading this was “Good”. Good thing we got these two off the streets, out of our communities. Did you see the kinds of loot these drug pushers were hauling around? $4,600! That’s almost 5 motherfuckin’ g’s man. Split down the middle and subtracting for overhead these two could each pay for a whole month of rent in some nice condo somewhere. Unreal. Just good to know the people of Arizona can rest easy tonight. Unless of course you need some cheap muscle relaxers or anti-anxiety pills to help you sleep, in which case, no you probably won’t because your drug dealers are in prison.