(Source) A Federal Way chiropractor has been accused of using his power as a medical professional to sexually violate three different women. Greg Summers has had his chiropractic license suspended by Department of Health and the Chiropractic Quality Assurance Commission. According to Donn Moyer with the DOH, Summers faces charges of sexual contact with three female patients and with changing the medical records of a patient. Summers allegedly recommended “intravaginal massage,” for two of his patients and inserted his fingers in their genitals. He tried to convince these patients that they’d benefit from the “invasion of their personal body space,” according to Moyer.

A third patient filed a complaint against Summers reporting he touched her breasts inappropriately during treatment. “There is almost nothing that is more wrong than going to a trusted person, like a health care provider and having them do that kind of violation,” said Moyer. Summers has 20 days to respond to the charges and to ask for a hearing.

And this is exactly why I never go to the doctor. Haven’t been in a decade*. And I know that I’ll probably die when I’m 50, but you know what won’t happen? I wont get my dickhole massaged because some bro says it will cure my lower back pains. I feel legitimately bad for these chicks. Yeah its probably the dumbest thing in the world to not realize that an “intravaginal massage” is the most made up thing ever created and the doctor is really saying he wants to finger you. Or that anyone would ever agree that an invasion of their personal body space is the quick path to perfect health. But that’s the thing with doctors. They went to school for like a million years. Its almost illegal not to trust whatever they say. If you walk in the door of a doctor’s office you’ve already lost. If they say finger banging is the way to a straight spine, then you let yourself get finger banged. It can happen that quickly. You know who has never told me I need to finger myself to get better? Web MD, that’s who.

*I have technically seen 1 doctor in the past decade when I broke my finger playing 16 inch softball because who the hell hasn’t broken their finger playing 16 inch softball. I procrastinated for like a month, finally made an appointment did the whole co-payment thing and sat down only to have the doctor tell me that if I had come in a week earlier he could’ve fixed it but now he can’t and I’ll have arthritis in my hand forever. See how much that sucks? If I had never gone I would have just had a sore hand for the rest of my life, but now I have arthritis like a fucking loser old person. I didn’t need to know that. I’m now a 27 year old with impending arthritis. Such a vagina. Ignorance truly is bliss.