I know Pres said yesterday that anyone who takes off Columbus day is lazy and not a real person and blah blah blah. Well let me just say this right now. If I don’t get Columbus Day off next year to go document whatever the fuck is going on at Chicago’s Columbus Day parade then I’m quitting. My hands are tied. This is a party I can not miss.

Bums sleeping on boards

Gay Columbus doing whatever it is Gay Columbus does.

Fat kids in wheelchairs

Sidenote – What the fuck is with the little nerd pushing the chair? Does he not play an instrument? Or did they just draw straws to see who had to hand in their clarinet so that Henry could still play his trumpet down Balbo after he rolled his ankle trying to do an ollie on his skateboard last week?

Milfs wearing weird hats that just make me want to fuck them even more.

Little kid’s guarding Lamborghini’s. Not exactly sure what is going on here

Hipsters protesting shit before their 3 oclock shift at the North/Milwaukee Starbucks.

Kids stuck under fences

Indians holding 200 year old grudges for no reason

LAND BOATS!!!

And of course, no Chicago event would ever be a Chicago event if the Jesse White Tumblers weren’t invited.

So that’s it. Next year I’m taking Columbus Day off. If Pres wants a Clydesdale then I’m probably not his man. Such is life.

You, Me and Dupree _ Job Interview by hulu