The Bank of America Chicago Marathon ran out of medals for about 1,300 participants who finished seven hours after it started. Marathon organizers said they would mail or ship those runners a medal, said Diane Wagner, spokeswoman for Bank of America. “We are ensuring that every runner who crossed the finish line will receive a medal to recognize their accomplishments,” Wagner said.

And this is why Marathoners suck. Fucking medals. Not just for first place. But for everyone. Like tee ball when everyone wins MVP and every game ends in a tie. Pathetic. People who “run” a marathon in over 7 hours don’t deserve a medal. They deserve a person in their life to tell them they suck as an athlete and to stop wasting all their money on Under Armour high performance sweat gear. This is exactly what Pres is talking about when he says the pussification of America. Rewarding mediocrity. Patting people on the back for fake accomplishments. Absolute joke. If you run a marathon at a 16 minute pace (which is virtually walking) you don’t deserve shit.

PS - This is how you run a marathon. Who gives a fuck what your final time was, as long as you were in first place at some point, even if it was for .1 miles before the Kenyans even realized the race had started.  Guy is probably a stoolie.