[Source] - While the country debated (and voted, and debated some more) about whether Barack Obama or Mitt Romney should be president, a 20-year-old woman on the other side of the world had come up with a way to unite the two forever. On Wednesday morning, Millicent Owuor, gave birth to twins in south-west Kenya. She named one brother Barack Obama and the other Mitt Romney, Kenya’s Standard newspaper reported.
I can’t think of a worse fate to be born into than being named Mitt Romney in fucking Kenya and having your twin named Barack Obama. That’s like being born in Israel and your parents name your brother Mel Brooks and you Adolf Hitler just for kicks. Literally not one good thing can ever happen in this kid’s life. I mean right off the bat he lives in Kenya which is in Africa which is infested with AIDS and child militias and probably no places sell hot wings there so all of that sucks. Then, oh check it out, your twin brother is named after the golden God of Kenya. Approval rating of 1000% in the entire continent. Meanwhile everybody hates you. Sweet. Thanks Mom. Would it have killed you to have one more son named Matumbo like all the other kids? T.I.A. indeed.