I was so ready to hate on this. Was gearing up to call it some stupid fad that only kids who gave up beating their dicks to Warcraft would partake in. Had some ejaculation jokes and some easy Jenna Haze references at the ready. Then you know what happened? That dude came out of the grocery store and started pouring a 2% bottle of Hood all over himself in perfect timing with House of Pain’s “Jump Around” and now I think Milking is legit the hottest trend I think I’ve ever seen. Couldn’t have picked a better, cooler song to sell me on this shit. If I start Milking in public a few times a week and people associate it with “Jump Around” I could run for fucking Congress in two years and probably win. That’s how good that song is. So sorry to these bro’s for initially wanting to hate this. Egg on my face. Milking is the bee’s knees and if you don’t do it you’re a loser plain and simple.
WASHINGTON DC, MARYLAND, VIRGINIA