(Source) But all hope is not lost. If you believe Chicago’s Brandon Marshall, some players have found a way to keep that pep in their in-game step: a certain little blue pill. During Wednesday’s Bears media availability, Marshall was asked about Adderall, the stimulant now coming under the league’s scrutiny. As Brad Biggs of the Chicago Tribune notes, he took the conversation in a whole new direction: 

“I don’t know too much about Adderall,” he said. “I know guys, it is such a competitive league, guys try anything just to get that edge. I’m fortunate enough to be blessed with size and some smarts to give me my edge. But some guys, they’ll do whatever they can to get an edge. I’ve heard of some crazy stories. I’ve heard [of] guys using like Viagra, seriously. Because the blood is supposedly thin, some crazy stuff. So, you know, it’s kind of scary with some of these chemicals that are in some of these things so you have to be careful.” (Emphasis added.)

Yeah, and we have to be careful what we say here as well. To start, though … Viagra? Seriously? VIAGRA ON THE FIELD? We’ll just make two points. In theory, it’s possible to see how Viagra could get your blood all fired up, at least for tackling somebody. And in practice, it doesn’t seem like it’d be very difficult to see who’s using it, if you get our drift. Expect Marshall, and pretty much every other NFL player who comes in front of a microphone in the next four days, to get asked about this a lot. And, of course, if your two-minute drill lasts more than four hours, consult a doctor.

Look I’m not saying B-Marsh is wrong or that he made this up or that he misheard something but if this is actually true its the craziest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. I can’t imagine a worse place in the world to have a raging hard on than standing in front of 70,000 people, wearing skin tight pants, smashing into a bunch of other dudes and jumping into man-piles. Like could you imagine Brett Favre popping a couple of Viagras and gunslinging with a rock hard cock? Bad example, but you get my point.

PS

This story is my worst nightmare. I can already see the emails I’m going to get from my dad and all his 50 year old friends and tweets by Darren Rovell and Rick Reilly. “Game of Inches”. “New meaning to Extending  the Play”. “Watch out for those stiff arms”. Seriously, this is like the apocalypse for terrible corny jokes. No one is safe.

h/t Keith