Hey Bill buy a shirt that fits bro

Source - It was bingo night in this Chicago suburb, but the venue wasn’t some church hall packed with blue-haired old ladies. Instead, mostly 30-something hipsters sipped $7.50 cups of Pu-erh tea in the cozy confines of Madame ZuZu’s, an Art Deco-inspired tea shop. The winner of the first round was Nicole Fiorentino, a 33-year-old with red lips, black hair and black-rimmed glasses, who plays bass in the rock band the Smashing Pumpkins. Ms. Fiorentino came out to play bingo because “it feels old-timey” and to support Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan, who owns the tea shop and in February created a monthly bingo night, led each time by a different local celebrity.


So I guess this is what happens to rock stars as they get older. They dress up like assholes, drink $8 dollar cups of Pu-erh and play fucking Bingo a few nights a week. Sounds exciting. Not as exciting as playing to sold out arenas and having promiscuous orgies with groupies under a mountain of cocaine, but pretty damn close.

Is there anyone weirder than Billy Corgan? Dude’s a superstar rock musician, he owns a wrestling promotion company, and his favorite hobby is drinking tea and playing Bingo like he’s 95 fuckin years old. And then he acts surprised that people aren’t showing up to play with him. Hey Billy I think I know why the attendance is low at your Bingo nights bro. Bingo fucking sucks. Old people play it when they literally can’t do anything else. Their bodies are so decrepit they can either lay in bed, get euthanized or play Bingo. Not a real attractive way to get people to hang out with you and your shitty band.

PS – Yeah I know I wrote a blog saying Bingo was awesome like 3 weeks ago. Times change. People change. That’s life.