Topic of the Day at Barstool and a lot of people have been asking me what mine would look like so here it is. Short and Sweet
You are being forced to spend the next 10 years of your life in a basement. After those 10 years, you will receive $10 mil. Your basement comes fully furnished with a good bed, sink, a toilet, a shower and a trash chute. You are also being given a bonus 30 points to spend on items/amenities that you can take with you to your basement. BONUS BONUS: If you half your $10 mil payout to $5 mil, you will receive 35 points to spend. If you reduce your payout to zero, you receive 40 points.
Chef (9 points) – I’m lazy as fuck. No way I’m cooking
Internet (16 points) – Have to gamble somehow
TV (7 points) – Have to watch the sports I gamble on somehow
Model Train Set (2) – Can’t believe no one has picked this yet. Little known fact about Big Cat, I’ve ALWAYS wanted to be a model train set guy. Always. Literally been a dream of mine forever. But having at least some rational thoughts left in my brain I understand that if you’re a model train set guy you’re also most likely a pedophile and a total creep. Well nothing is creepier then spending 10 years by yourself in a basement so that kind of overshadows the model train set right? Like If there was ever a time for me be a Model Train Conductor, this would be the time. Might even use my extra point on a Conductors hat and whistle like Bobby Bacala, really get the full authentic experience. Toot Toot!
Done and Done. My life literally would not change, except for the fact that I would have an awesome Model Train. Don’t even need the money really, just get to finally be a Model Train guy. Long overdue for me.
For anyone who says I’m just picking Model Train set to be different have one single moment of honesty with yourself. You’re telling me you wouldn’t want to be a model train conductor if all social norms were thrown out the window? Please. Anyone who hates on model trains is an ignorant boob.
UPDATE – Guess internet and computer were two separate items. HUGE Mistake on my part. My trusty 3rd grade reading comprehension really failed me on that one. Kind of a waste of 16 points right there. Oh well guess I’ll just stare at my wireless router whenever I get bored with my train set.