Big Cat’s 10 Year Basement – Short And Sweet
Topic of the Day at Barstool and a lot of people have been asking me what mine would look like so here it is. Short and Sweet
You are being forced to spend the next 10 years of your life in a basement. After those 10 years, you will receive $10 mil. Your basement comes fully furnished with a good bed, sink, a toilet, a shower and a trash chute. You are also being given a bonus 30 points to spend on items/amenities that you can take with you to your basement. BONUS BONUS: If you half your $10 mil payout to $5 mil, you will receive 35 points to spend. If you reduce your payout to zero, you receive 40 points.
Chef (9 points) – I’m lazy as fuck. No way I’m cooking
Internet (16 points) – Have to gamble somehow
TV (7 points) – Have to watch the sports I gamble on somehow
Model Train Set (2) – Can’t believe no one has picked this yet. Little known fact about Big Cat, I’ve ALWAYS wanted to be a model train set guy. Always. Literally been a dream of mine forever. But having at least some rational thoughts left in my brain I understand that if you’re a model train set guy you’re also most likely a pedophile and a total creep. Well nothing is creepier then spending 10 years by yourself in a basement so that kind of overshadows the model train set right? Like If there was ever a time for me be a Model Train Conductor, this would be the time. Might even use my extra point on a Conductors hat and whistle like Bobby Bacala, really get the full authentic experience. Toot Toot!
Done and Done. My life literally would not change, except for the fact that I would have an awesome Model Train. Don’t even need the money really, just get to finally be a Model Train guy. Long overdue for me.
PS
For anyone who says I’m just picking Model Train set to be different have one single moment of honesty with yourself. You’re telling me you wouldn’t want to be a model train conductor if all social norms were thrown out the window? Please. Anyone who hates on model trains is an ignorant boob.
UPDATE – Guess internet and computer were two separate items. HUGE Mistake on my part. My trusty 3rd grade reading comprehension really failed me on that one. Kind of a waste of 16 points right there. Oh well guess I’ll just stare at my wireless router whenever I get bored with my train set.
Why is everyone giving up 5 million dollars?
Does the girl stay 18 forever? That makes a huge difference.
That internet isn’t gonna do you any good without a computer.
why are people leaving an extra point, just take the fucking pool table
You would also need the computer to use the internet, that’s another 6 points
Who picked these shitty stock photos??? The “top of the line desktop” is f’n 1998 Dell – which is Top of the Line by Barstool standards.
Chick, Kitchen, TV, Dip, Workout Room. 40 points and I get no money but guess what? I got all the shit I need for free. Bang the chick, she makes me food, and I get to dip workout take some hacks and watch tv all day.
I took the Library over the TV. I could tell the 18 year old smoke that my bunker has many leather bound books and smells of mahogany.
Take out the internet and get the cell phone and call in your bets once a week. BOOM. Budget changed
Do you only pick the gun if you take the chick? Kind of like a contingency plan?
I was really hoping you would have picked the video camera so you could document your descent into madness. I’d pay to watch that footage.
if you’re getting no sunlight, you better spend a point on a multivitamin otherwise you’ll be dead before the 10 years runs out
also, tv is a suckers pick if you have the internet. anyone with half a brain knows there are plenty of sites where you can watch any sporting event/network tv show
Neils List: Ricky Martin and some random black guy (15), Wine and Crystal (5) HD Video Camera (3) Lube (3) Food wouldn’t be needed as he’s getting meat all day long.
oops, looks like my simple brain didn’t read that you couldn’t stream off this internet either
wetbandits, you obviously should get the library and teach yourself how to read – you can’t stream on the internet
Bobby Bacala reference is hilarious. Give me the TV, video games, fast food, drugs, gym, jacuzzi tub, and a skylight. I thought about the bitch, cause 10 years no sex sounds fucking awful, but since i just got out of a relationship, the last thing i want is a bitch blabbing in my ear for 10 years. Let me man the fuck out
Everyone is giving up $5MM bucks and then not taking the stock market and prob at worse having $15MM after 10 years. Idiotic.
Pass on the $. I’ll take 2 18 year old chicks and unlimited McDonalds for 10 years.
Plug the TV into the internet. Your Mint Big Cat! CHO CHOOOOOOOO
Hey BigKitty – You’ll need 3 points to get Andy Dufresne’s little rock hammer in case you want to dig out and eventually make it to Zihuatanejo with your little hands. (yes I had to look up the spelling – fuck you. shits funny anyway)
You guys are too short sighted on the 18 year old girl. Sex is a perk, yes, but the main benefit is just to have someone to talk to. Ever just sat in your room for like 3 days without ever talking to anybody? Blows, doesn’t it? Now amplify that by over a thousand. You’d go insane after like 4 years of having no one to talk to.
I’m going chick, fast food, hygiene, video games, skylight, phone, and pool table.
Oh and by the way RC Airplane – you having ten years to buy 5th rate cola stock is a sure fire need for you to get the gun with 3 bullets when you lose all your money to CostCo Cola you’ll want to plug yourself for sure.
@madrabbi, except you don’t have anything to play those video games on. the cases will only provide so much reading material
seriously big cat why does common sense hate you so much? do you know him? what did you do to him?
the girl really costs 19 points because you have to buy the gun too
girl drugs booz gun kitchen, fuck the 5 mil set up a heroine ring and leave that fucker like tony montana
you could get rid of the stupid ass train and take a cellphone so the internet isn’t useless
Big Cat already started recruiting http://thewvsr.com/modeltrainroom.htm
is the cell phone a smart phone? dealbreaker there
I could have sworn that was Chris Christie in that photo
Two 18 year old’s and…. ummm… the unlimited booze I think!!!! I was over 35 anyway, why not??
30 points:
Chef: 9
TV and cable: 7
Video games: 4
Gym: 5
Unlimited booze: 5
Done.
If you take the gym you’re a huge tool, just do pushups or some shit
so many questions. does the girl get birth control? bc I am not wearing condoms. Can the girl cook or is she a moron? do the movies and and games need the tv bc thats fucking 11 points that shit is expensive? fuck i cant sleep
If Barry Bonds is replaced by Bryan Beer I bet that would change BigCat’s answer
4 puppies and unlimited drugs is the correct answer
If an 18 year old is 18 points, does that mean a 17 year old is 17 points?
If so, I’ll take two 14 year olds and a decades supply of Hot Pockets.