Well, it’s Friday again, which means Chicago Comments of the Week are back.  I used to love Friday’s more than anything because it meant I was about to continue a bender that would make Chuck Sheen blush and my cube life was put on hold for 48 hours.  Not anymore.  Now it’s a day where all I have to look forward to are 25-30 comments that direct me to die or that make fun of my glandular problem.  Not gonna lie, it gets pretty stressing.  It’s almost to the point where I almost want to start exercising and eating healthy… Almost.  But I have an obligation for the stoolies, and I won’t let you guys down, plus a buddy of mine who plays in the Tigers’ system helped me with these. Without further ado, here’s Chicago’s top comments of the week, in chronological order.

1. Blog – Porn Industry on Halt Because of HIV Outbreak

Comment:

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Seriously don’t get why everyone is all up in arms about this.  There’s enough Kayden Kross, Eve Lawrence, Audrey Bitoni and Nessa Devil at our disposal so that if a new porno was never filmed again we’d be in just fine shape.  Hardly a crisis in my opinion.  Having said that, wilburham is a fat disgusting slob who lives in his mothers basement.

2. Blog – Rate this John Gruden/ Hooters Chick Commercial

Comment:

cotw2

Absolutely was, and she knows it too. Dumb bitch.

3. Blog – Wake up with Shantal Monique

shan2

Comment:

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You give me a Kingpin quote and I’ll give you a top comment 10 times out of 10.  Even if the comment isn’t funny, I’d be remiss to not include a reference to one of the great comedies of all time in COTW.

PS – When white chicks have black names it’s a big turn off for me.  Regardless if they’re smoking hot like Shantal or not.

4. Update on Big Cat and Rovell’s 1 on 1 Match

Comment:

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I think the “jerking off in the handicapped stall” jokes are even more played out than the “Where’s the marathon money” jokes, the “Neil for KFC Radio” jokes and the “whitesoxgunt” jokes, but you guys (who apparently love redundancy) loved it, so here ya go.  I’m a man of the people, even if the people want me to open up a window, throw my laptop out of it and promptly follow the laptop.

5. Iowa State Fair is Getting Loose

Capture16

Comments: We have a comment section fight!

fight1fight 2fight 3fight 4fight 5fight 6

Gunnarstahl fighting a two front war.  I love when shit like this happens in the comment section.  All gunnar wants to do is sit on faces, while Peasonknees and Frank Zappa will have NONE of that anymore.

6. Blog - Comments of the Week

Comment: (In response to me saying I haven’t talked to Neil since he left the Stool)

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Maybe you guys did actually get to ol’ chemo.  Poor ol’ chap was just trying to make an honest living and you guys got to him so bad that he offed himself.  Wonder which method of suicide that you guys suggested he actually used?  Guess we’ll never know.

That’s all I have for this week.  Eat shit and die.

whitesoxdave