You’re probably fuckin’ sick of this picture by now, aren’t you?
Alright Stoolies, now that we’ve got a week in the books it’s probably about high-time I start letting you in a little bit on life with Chemo. First off, no, I’m not a native. Yeah I’m originally from New England and I moved to a place in the West side of Chicago. If you’re going to hate me forever because of that than so be it. Like most of you, I’ve toiled away on trains or sat in traffic battling crippling hangovers and an insatiable desire to decapitate my boss and co-workers, getting through my days with help from the Stool. I knew Pres was looking for a Chicago guy so I sent in some shit and that’s how we got here today. I most recently worked as an English teacher who was supposed to teach foreign kids a second language but more often than not I just put on episodes of Family Guy with subtitles.
Even when I didn’t live here I had thought long and hard of applying for the Chicago job for a few reasons: a) I love it here, b) It’s an incredible, passionate sports town, c) There was a gaping hole in the Stool’s push for global domination and it resided along the shores of Lake Michigan. Now that I have the job I want to do everything I can to spread Barstool Chicago and take over this town. When I took the job Pres made me promise that I’d watch every single Chicago sporting event till me ears bled. That’s what I plan on doing. We’re gonna have all the sports in this city on lockdown with some great contributors to go along with Bigcat and myself. And I’m still looking for any great Chicago writers who want to join. Email me at email@example.com if you want to write for us.
Follow me on twitter @stoolchicago
Oh, and you’re god damned right I co-wrote a play. Sold the shit out of it. Twice.