Source - Douglas Bartelt, a detective with the Miami-Dade Police Narcotics Bureau, provided his daughter, Emma, with three detector canines and 28 grams of cocaine (street value: approximately $1,300) for her entry into Coral Gables Preparatory Academy’s annual science fair. Not surprisingly, she won. The first-place honor gave Emma an automatic entry into the Miami -Dade Elementary Schools Science Fair, where her drug-sniffing project earned an honorable mention.

“The purpose for this scientific investigation was to find which dog would find the cocaine fastest using it’s [sic] sense of smell,” the fourth-grader wrote in the abstract for her project, titled “Drug Sniffing Dogs.” Bartelt, according to the Miami Herald, fellow detective William Pedraja and Sgt. Samantha Machado provided the dogs (a springer spaniel named Roger; Levi, a golden retriever; and Franky, a retired chocolate labrador) and the cocaine. (Franky showed he’s still got the touch, locating the illegal substance in 43 seconds.)

How’d you like to be the kid who probably spent like 30 hours over the course of 4 weekends building an active volcano that shoots out fire hot molten lava just to come in 2nd to this girl? Throw your social life away making Mount St Helen’s out of paper mache with pyrotechnics and shit blowing up everywhere and some bitch has her Dad stash a bunch of yak in the cafeteria for some dogs to find and she wins. Such a kick in the balls. Must be infuriating. Like the only option at that point is you steal some of that blow, do a few key bumps for yourself and hide the rest in that chick’s backpack. Stick Franky the drug sniffing chocolate lab on her and make her do a 3-5 to make up for stealing your trophy.

PS – How about the name she gave her project – “Drug Sniffing Dogs”? Um that’s not the name of a science project you idiot. That’s just the name of the animals you used to do it for you. Be creative for once.