Tour Dates

  • District N9NE
    Philadelphia, PA

    April 25th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Irving Plaza
    New York City, NY

    April 26th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Toad's Place
    New Haven, CT

    January 30th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Lupo's
    Providence, RI

    January 31st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Webster Theater
    Hartford, CT

    February 21st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Palladium
    Worcester, MA

    February 22nd, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Sherman Theater
    East Stroudsburg, PA

    March 1st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Union Bar
    Iowa City, IA

    March 8th, 2014 6:00 PM
  • The Boulder Theater
    Boulder, CO

    March 15th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Fillmore
    Charlotte, NC

    April 4th, 2014 10:00 PM
  • House Of Blues
    Myrtle Beach, SC

    April 5th, 2014 9:00 PM

Hot Galleries

Post Super Bowl Funk Buster Time

My Tried And True Funk Busting Method

 

funk_busters

 

Today is the absolute worst. Not only is there no more football left, but if you did Super Bowl Sunday correctly you’re most likely struggling through a pretty severe case of diarrhea/heart burn. Not to mention it’s still winter, so yeah, fuck everything. So what do we do? Well we have 2 options. 1) Sit around and cry like pussies or 2) Buy something we don’t need to make ourselves feel better and look at hot chicks. I lean 2, it’s how I got the handclaw (last year’s funk buster), so let’s roll. First, buy a couple things we don’t need. Also, anyone who says buying shit is a chick movie doesn’t understand this. It’s not buying shoes or a skirt or some stupid thing that a girl thinks will make her look hot. It’s buying something you don’t actually need that you see and are like whoa, that’s kind of cool. So here we go.

 

 

 

 

1. Elevation Training Mask

 

Now that I’m back in shape I’d like to stay that way. That doesn’t mean I want to go to the gym, that’s crazy talk. Solution? Elevation training mask. I’ll admit, blogging tends to be a sedentary lifestyle. Doesn’t exactly promote physical fitness. Well that’s all because I’ve been blogging at sea level. Ever blogged at 10,000 feet? Game changer. Fit as fuck.

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2. Potty Putter Golf Mat

Spring is coming, time to get that golf game tight. Easiest way to shed strokes? Short game. Potty Putter city.

 

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3. What I would buy if I was rich – Jet Capsule

 

6mkdm

 

 

Hot Chick we can all look at – Emily Sears

 

By Big Cat posted February 3rd, 2014 at 3:30 PM

Little USA Hockey Pump Up Video

The one thing we can look forward to between Super Bowl and March Madness

 

 

USA Hockey to the rescue between the wasteland of the Super Bowl and March Madness. If you don’t love Olympic hockey then you’re basically dead inside.

 

Except for rooting for this guy, I hate having to do that.

 

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h/t connor

By Big Cat posted February 3rd, 2014 at 2:36 PM

Does This Look Like A Woman Arrested For Shoplifting At A West Side Wal-Mart Who Then Asked The Cops Repeatedly If She Could Do Just A Little Bit Of Heroin?

Hard 33.     (Source) A 33-year-old Minnesota woman stopped for shoplifting Monday night at a West Side Walmart found herself in bigger trouble after she asked arresting police officers if she could do some heroin, police said. Edith Hancock, of the 3000 block of Riverwood Drive in Hastings, Minn., was charged with felony possession [...]

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Hard 33.

 

 

(Source) A 33-year-old Minnesota woman stopped for shoplifting Monday night at a West Side Walmart found herself in bigger trouble after she asked arresting police officers if she could do some heroin, police said. Edith Hancock, of the 3000 block of Riverwood Drive in Hastings, Minn., was charged with felony possession of a controlled substance and misdemeanor retail theft, police said. Hancock, who told police she was three months pregnant, was seen going into a changing room at the Walmart at 4650 W. North Ave. with a pair of jeans, leggings, and a black shirt and then leave the changing area wearing those items, according to police. After taking some cosmetics and placing them in her purse, she tried to leave the store without paying and was stopped by security, according to police. Chicago police were called and she was taken to the Grand Central District station where she was arrested at 7 p.m., according to police.

While she was being processed, she “continually asked” officers for “just one blow,” a street name for heroin, from her purse because she was “getting dopesick,” according to a police report. Officers found multiple bags of heroin in her purse, and she continued saying that she “only wanted one” of the bags “because she had ten of them and she thought they might be more than a gram although a couple were very light because she had already used from a least a couple,” the report said. Hancock was released on a signature bond during a hearing today before Judge Donald Panarese at the Leighton Criminal Court building. She is scheduled to appear in court next on Feb. 18.

 

 

First of all, of all the places you’re going to shoplift you pick Wal-Mart? Does Wal-Mart even have anything more than $9.99 ? Go big or go home Edith. Big risk big reward. Because right now you’re just taking a moderate size risk for a 20 dollar pair of Levi’s and some Danskins. Totally not worth it.

 

 

Now for the heroin. When I first read the headline I said, what a fucking idiot, who asks Cops for some heroin and alerts them to the fact that she is in possession of illegal drugs? But then I read the details. 10 bags, 10, and you can’t give her 1 of those 10 for a little taste? Just to wet the beak? That’s cruel and unusual punishment if you ask me. It’s like stealing 1 cookie from the cookie jar. Edith Hancock wasn’t trying to get greedy, she wasn’t trying to eat all the cookies, she just wanted to bump a little heroin while the cops looked the other way. Feel like that’s not that big of a deal. Way better than having some dopesick fiend throw up in your patrol car, but maybe that’s just me being a global thinker instead of living my life in a mental box.

By Big Cat posted February 3rd, 2014 at 1:50 PM

Surprise Surprise PETA Is Upset At Joe Namath For Being An Absolute Boss On Super Bowl Sunday

Learn some context PETA

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Jesus Christ PETA, know when to take a step back. I’m all for ethical treatment of animals, not eating animals is absolutely bonkers, but the ethical treatment of animals, sure. But take it down a notch with the wet blanket shit when Joe Namath is just trying to get his dick wet. That’s all that was going on. First time back on the main stage in a while, has to let the ladies know Broadway Joe can still bring the heat, and that’s exactly what he did, he brought the noise on America. Underwear slushies from sea to shining sea. That coat was hot as fuck. So maybe next time learn some context. You want to bash a housewife for owning a mink coat or wearing leather, fine. But stay away from Broadway Joe, because that right there is an American icon. I don’t care how many animals it took to make his coat, as long as Slick* was warm I’m happy.

 

 

 

 

*If you don’t know who slick is, it’s Joe Namath’s imaginary drinking buddy. That’s how fucking cool Joe Namath is. He has a ghost best friend named slick that likes to get black out drunk.

 

 

h/t chris

By Big Cat posted February 3rd, 2014 at 1:10 PM

Super Bowl Rewind

Well that game sucked

 

My day peaked at about 10 am.

 

 

 

Here we go, worst Super Bowl in a decade, let’s jump right in….

 

 

 

Let’s kick it off with the closest the Browns may ever get to the Super Bowl

 

browns

 

And a dick made out of skittles.

 

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And the worst people ever.

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Read the rest of this entry »

By Big Cat posted February 3rd, 2014 at 11:35 AM

Guy Bites His Brother’s Ear Off After Peyton Manning Ruined The Super Bowl

May have made up that last part.

 

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(Source) A Rochester man allegedly bit off part of his brother’s right ear following a Super Bowl party. Sean Fallon-Nebbia, 27, of Lake Avenue was charged with first-degree assault, a felony, after he and his brother fought at the tail end of a Super Bowl party in Fallon-Nebbia’s apartment, just before midnight on Sunday, according to City Court documents. He is also accused of punching his brother Frank Fallon-Nebbia in the face several times, rendering him unconscious when emergency responders arrived.

Sean Fallon-Nebbia pleaded not guilty in City Court Monday morning and was remanded to the Monroe County Jail on $15,000 cash bail or bond. City Court Judge Melchor Casto issued an order of protection for the injured brother, who suffered severe bleeding and was taken to Strong Memorial Hospital for treatment. Court papers allege that the brothers drank more than a bottle of whiskey together at a Super Bowl party and were roughhousing after the game when the incident occurred. A doctor who treated the injured brother told police that the ear was permanently disfigured, according to court documents. Another resident of the apartment told police that the brothers were drunk, and were “play wrestling” and latched onto one another before they “turned violent and aggressive.” Sean Fallon-Nebbia is scheduled to return to City Court Friday morning

 

 

 

Hate when that happens. Little play wrestling, rough housing, and next thing you know you’ve knocked your brother out and bitten his ear off. Sometimes you eat 30 brownies on Super Bowl Sunday like I did and sometimes you pound a bottle of whiskey and beat the fuck out of your brother. The real question though is how good Sean Fallon-Nebbia’s lawyer is? Because if I’m that guy I’m blaming this all on Peyton Manning. That Super Bowl suuuuucked. Plain and simple. It was hyped beyond belief and it was an absolute dud. So fuck you Peyton. Show up for a half and Frank Fallon Nebbia still has an ear. That shit is on you.  Worst playoff quarterback ever and ear biter. What a fucking dickhead.

 

 

By Big Cat posted February 3rd, 2014 at 10:53 AM

Super Bowl Recap On Good Day Chicago

time to eat some crow

 

 

What do you do when you have heart burn that is burning at 10 million degrees, no mustache and 6 hours of sleep? Make a Jim Calhoun joke and hope for the best.

 

 

PS

Disaster

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By Big Cat posted February 3rd, 2014 at 10:10 AM

Frank Caliendo’s Fake 30/30 On Richard Sherman Was Actually Really Funny, I Swear I’m Not Trolling This Time

Frank bringing the heat

I’m usually trolling with my “love” of Frank Caliendo. The idea of a funny man in the football pregame shows always struck me as odd. 1) Because they’re usually not very funny and 2) It seems so forced for ESPN of FOX or CBS to be like “Look guys, we’re hip, we’re cool, we’re totally in tune with comedy” even though it’s usually just some guy yelling picks with a bunch of props and shit. But this, this was actually funny. I laughed out loud multiple times. Frank Caliendo, saving his A+ game for Super Bowl Sunday.

 

 

Top 3 were.

 

3. Ron Jaworski

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2. Boomer waving his hands like a psycho.

 

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1. Bill Belichik mumbling with his lap dog

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By Big Cat posted February 3rd, 2014 at 9:30 AM
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