The Boulder Theater
March 15th, 2014 9:00 PM
March 20th, 2014 9:00 PM
April 4th, 2014 10:00 PM
House Of Blues
Myrtle Beach, SC
April 5th, 2014 9:00 PM
April 11th, 2014 9:00 PM
April 12th, 2014 9:00 PM
April 25th, 2014 9:00 PM
New York City, NY
April 26th, 2014 9:00 PM
New Haven, CT
January 30th, 2014 9:00 PM
January 31st, 2014 9:00 PM
February 21st, 2014 9:00 PM
February 22nd, 2014 9:00 PM
East Stroudsburg, PA
March 1st, 2014 9:00 PM
The Union Bar
Iowa City, IA
March 8th, 2014 6:00 PM
So this thought popped into my head yesterday during KFC Radio when we were discussing drinking a 30 pack of beer. If you’ve read any of the urban legends of Andre the Giant you know he was an all time boozer. People say he could finish 30 beers in an hour and a half by himself, and that would be just a warm up. So my question is, if you put 30 beers into a single jug (forget the physics of lifting the thing and holding it while you drink) how many sips would it take Andre the Giant to finish it? I’m saying 6. That Andre the Giant could essentially take Six consecutive FIVE beer sips and finish off a thirty rack. Maybe I’m crazy, but I’m more just pissed we never got to test this out.
Time to Vote, how many sips would it take Andre the Giant to finish 30 beers. Vote 1 for 1, 2 for 2 etc etc.
Mirror – A teenager suffered three cardiac arrests and ‘died’ on her bathroom floor after downing TEN Jagerbomb drinks on a night out. Student Jayde Dinsdale, 18, downed the drinks – normally made of Jagermeister spirit and energy drinks – while on a night out with pals. But after the alcohol wore off the caffeine in her system took control of her heart rate – causing it to accelerate dangerously out of control.
Jayde, a tourism and travel student, arrived at the nightclub sober just before midnight on January 31, having just finished work as a party rep. She thinks she had around ten drinks – each containing half a can of an energy drink like Red Bull or Monster – before heading home at 2am. Eight hours later, Jayde was washing her face while talking to mum Natalie, 38, when she suddenly started shaking and collapsed.
Jayde – who had another cardiac arrest in the following hours – was put into an induced coma and spent three weeks in hospital before medics fitted an internal defibrillator. She is now warning other youngsters to avoid the drinks. Jayde, from Yeovil, Somerset, said: “I think it is pretty bad that people sell these drinks. You’ve no idea how much caffeine is in them and how dangerous they can be. “I hope people will think twice about drinking energy drinks – they could be deadly.”
Get a load of this coma bitch. Going all Kill Bill on energy drinks because her frail little heart couldn’t handle 5 measly cans of the stuff. You know what you call somebody who has a heart attack after 5 Red Bulls? You call ‘em a person who was probably gonna have a heart attack soon anyways. How about a thank you to Red Bull for identifying Jayde’s obvious latent health issues? Red Bull. It gives you wings… and screens you for hypertension. Granted by almost killing you, but still.
And death by Jagerbombs? As far as uppers and downers go, that’s about the tamest you can get, sweetheart. Maybe party with a couple pixie sticks and children’s strength Nyquil if you can’t handle a couple shooters at the bar without doing your best Sleeping Beauty impersonation. Never party with Jayde. She’s a fuckin lightweight. Probably gets diabetes after a couple Miami Vice’s too.
Barstool Chicago Sports Roundup 3/7; Baseball, Bears And White Sox Dave’s Early Retirement From Motivational Quotes
New episode for this week and here’s the thing. If you aren’t from Chicago or don’t enjoy listening about some serious Chicago sports talk this week than this episode will most likely not be for you. But if you want to hear what Carl and Whitesoxdave have to say about Jeff Samardzija’s future with the Cubs and just baseball in general than take a listen.
*A more few snippets from this weeks episode*
- Carl isn’t so happy with the comment section for not understanding why Kris Bryant and Javy Baez going yard in spring training is actually news
- Why Jeff Samardzija may NEVER be an ace because he plays not to lose, instead of playing to win
- Carl basically admits he’s best friends with Theo Epstein and that he has a ton of insider information regarding the team, even though he tries to trick us into thinking he’s not
- Brian Urlacher: Bitter ex-girlfriend??
- Why EVERY major Chicago Sports team can possibly be contending for a championship in 3-4 years
So by now most of you have you seen Feitelbergs “What Barstool Blogger are you quiz“. Now how it worked was Feitelberg emailed all of us a list of questions last week and we all replied just to him with our responses. So its 100% closed ballot, no one knows the other person’s answers. Which brings up the question, what were the most bizarre answers on the quiz? Like who actually does some of these things. Here are the top 5 that I honestly can not get my head around no matter how hard I try.
5. Favorite Sport – MMA
I like MMA. I’ll order an occasional fight during the calendar year. But if you’re “favorite” sport to watch is MMA you have a fucking screw loose. Like I question whether you even played sports in your life if that’s your serious answer. It just can’t be your favorite. Football, basketball, hockey, come on. One of the bloggers on our staff has a wardrobe full of Affliction shirts and now I’m worried we’re all going to get arm barred.
4. Favorite Part of a Girl – Personality
So this just has to be one of the guys not realizing this quiz is anonymous right? No way would anyone ever say they like a personality in a girl the most unless they think it will somehow get them laid down the road. That’s the only possible explanation. We’ve all said fucked up shit to have sex. Say you love someone, say they don’t look fat, say you want brains over looks etc etc. But that was all done with 1 goal in mind, not some anonymous quiz that allows you to be brutally honest. Hopefully this was a mixup and we don’t need to publicly chastise the blogger who made this choice.
3. Favorite Vacation Spot -Paris
This is honestly just the pussiest answer of all time. I actually think maybe feits messed up and sent the quiz to a girl as well. No other explanation. Isn’t the old saying “Paris is for Lovers”? That is actually a thing. So someone thinks they’re a fucking lover and wants to be romanced under the Eiffel Tower. My gut says Hank answered the quiz and doesn’t realize that Paris is in France and not a suburb of Boston.
2. What are you doing on a Friday Night? – Having Sex
Ohhhh well excuse me Mr. Sex guy. Seriously, whoever answered this needs to be fired from Barstool immediately. By the Common man for the Common man, Well no common man has so much fucking sex that they have it permanently penned in for their Friday night activities. Even if I had a genie who said I could have sex every single Friday for the rest of my life I’d turn it down. So overrated. You know what’s more fun than sex? Sitting on the couch, eating, watching sports then jerking off before you go to bed. Sex, what a try hard.
1. Brand You Most Wear – DC
This one just baffles me. I have no clue when Pres hired a 12 year old skateboarder but he did. Barstool just hitting all the demographics.
When Feitelberg first emailed us I was black out drunk on vacation and I initially answered Tommy Bahama for clothes I most wear. I was sweating the old guy vacay look so hard. Future me.
Surgeon Claims He Has Invented An Orgasm Machine That Can Give Women An Orgasm With The Touch Of A Button
(Source) A machine that delivers an orgasm at the push of a button has been patented in the US. The implant could help women whose lives have been blighted by an inability to achieve orgasms naturally. Orgasmic dysfunction is not uncommon among women, says Julia Cole, a psychosexual therapist and consultant with Relate, the relationship counselling service. And a number of issues can cause it, says Jim Pfaus, who studies the neurobiology of sexual behaviour at Concordia University in Montreal. “Some women confuse what’s called sympathetic arousal, like increased heart rate, clammy hands, nerves and so on, with fear,” he explains. “That makes them want to get out of the situation.” Psychotherapy is a common treatment for the condition, although if anxiety is a factor, patients may also be prescribed valium. “But valium can actually delay orgasm,” says Pfaus.
The patient remains conscious during the operation to help the surgeon find the best position for the electrodes. Stuart Meloy, a surgeon at Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, made the breakthrough came one day when he failed to hit the right spot. “I was placing the electrodes and suddenly the woman started exclaiming emphatically,” he says. “I asked her what was up and she said, ‘You’re going to have to teach my husband to do that’.” Meloy expects clinical trials to begin later this year with Medtronic, a company based in Minneapolis. He says the stimulating wires could connect to a signal generator smaller than a packet of cigarettes implanted under the skin of one of the patient’s buttocks. “Then you’d have a hand-held remote control to trigger it,” he says. “But it’s as invasive as a pacemaker, so this is only for extreme cases.”
My gut reaction was, female orgasms? HA! Who the fuck cares. Not me, and not any normal guy who has more important things to do than being someone’s “lover”. You get in and you get out. This isn’t the opera, this is a firedrill. But the more I think about this the more I realize how truly revolutionary this machine really could be. It basically means that guy’s don’t have to recite baseball stats in their head, or name objects in the room, or do the million different mind tricks we do to last more than a minute and a half. With an orgasm button you have ZERO pressure to perform. You get your rocks off, you hit a button and go back to your life. It basically takes the most difficult and annoying part of our life, trying not to jizz too quickly, and completely eliminates it. All for the orgasm button. Orgasm buttons for everyone.
Sickbrag Doctor. We get it, you can make chicks cum.
“I was placing the electrodes and suddenly the woman started exclaiming emphatically,” he says. “I asked her what was up and she said, ‘You’re going to have to teach my husband to do that’.”
Could you imagine having a universal remote to this thing? Talk about the keys to the world.
(Source) A year after the Bears parted ways with veteran linebacker Brian Urlacher, the team announced its decision on Thursday to release return specialist Devin Hester. Hester’s decorated eight-year career includes some of the most memorable moments in Bears’ history. The franchise, however, deemed Hester expendable, which caught Urlacher off guard. “I was really surprised to hear the news,” Urlacher told FOXSports.com in a telephone interview. “You think of Devin returning all those punts and kicks as a Bear. He’s going to break the record on another team, probably. It’s crazy to think he won’t be in a Bears uniform doing that. It’s frustrating as an ex-Bear and a player to see that happen.” Although Hester will turn 32 next season, he’s coming off a year in which he ran for a career-high 1,442 kickoff return yards. Hester continues to be a productive player, but Chicago never wanted to make him an offer.
Northbrook Family Arrested For Stealing Over 4 Million Dollars Worth Of Retail Goods In The Last Decade
CHICAGO (FOX 32 News) - A north suburban family went on a cross-country shoplifting spree that may have netted them millions of dollars worth of toys and other goods over the last decade, federal prosecutors say. The Bogdanov family lives in a million dollar Northbrook home. The Feds arrested Branko, the father of the family, along with his wife Lela and their daughter Julia. “I don’t know what to say, but I don’t believe it,” said Miso Bogdanov, the brother of Branko. Miso called the charges shocking.
FOX 32′s Craig Wall asked Miso how he would explain the charges against his brother. “How? No way in the world. How could I? Who Can?,” said Miso. Federal investigators said the Bogdanov’s stole more than $4-million worth of items, such as miniature American Girl dolls, high priced Lego sets, as well as furbies, expensive cutlery, and numerous baby items. The items stolen by the Bogdanov family were then sold on eBay for over $7-million. Prosecutors said Lela Bogdanov used a long black dress with hidden pockets inside to steal many of the items. The Bogdanov son was in no mood to talk. “I’m going to call the police if you guys do not leave my property, I will call the police, you guys are trespassing,” said the son. During what federal authorities called the family’s most recent “shopping spree,” they allegedly used this minivan to transport items stolen from stores across the South. Neighbors, including a man rehabbing a house nearby, never suspected anything. “It’s amazing what people will do to get money out of people. Go to work and get a decent job,” said Electrical contractor Cleveland Johnson. “They have always been really good neighbors and good people, so it was a little shocking to have all of this happen,” said neighbor Trisha Vanwagenen.