Hey guys, car’s stuck, can you help us push it?
Sure, where to?
How about that other ditch over there?
K got it.
Fucking Russians. Too funny. Can’t do 1 thing right without doing a million things wrong. And I have no idea what that guy in the driver’s seat was doing, but I think next time you get your car stuck you should probably pick someone who won’t go limp and bail from the steering wheel the minute the car actually gets into motion.
Is it racist that I assume any nice car in Russia was stolen from America and shipped overseas?
90 beautiful years for an American Legend. Bob graced us with his presence today on The Price Is Right and I don’t know if it’s the plastic surgery or the lighting or what, but he was absolutely GLOWING. Sammy Sosa wax candle-esque.
And of course he wasted no time going directly into the Bob Barker wheelhouse, smokeshows and puppies. Bob just gets us.
Such a classless move by Drew to not let Bob hold his own mic, that’s why I cut him out of the picture, fucking hate that guy right now.
And finally, in classic Barker fashion, he lip kissed the fuck out of some chick when the camera was cutting away. Like a tiger stalking his prey. Bob knew where he was going the minute that Showcase ended, not even a moment’s hesitation.
So happy birthday Bob. Hopefully we get to do this again in 10 years for your 100th. Don’t make guys like you anymore.
Probably the most exciting wheel in the history of the Price is Right today. Obviously because of Bob.
Sooo GP, great on ball defender, top 5 trash talker of all time, fantastic distributor, AWFUL highlight announcer. Just saying exactly what is happening in the most mundane way possible 1 second after the play happens.
Oh look out for that paaaass! Here’s a spin move and then he goes, and a layup! Ricky Balboa, heavyweight bout. I think the Miami Heat is in trouble, a new King in…..the east.
Credit where credit is due to GP though. When everything falls apart just say everyone is on FIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRREEEE!!!!! and no one will notice how much you suck.
This actually reminded me of one of my favorite videos on the internet. Kyle, who is now on SNL, goes to the Lakers rally. That is exactly how GP was talking but he was being 100% serious.
(Source) The ex-front man of a ‘homo-punk’ band has been removed as the official Girl Scouts spokesman after outraged mothers complained. Risque videos from Joshua Ackley’s band The Dead Betties led to a flurry of complaints by parents who questioned whether he was the best person to represent the Girl Scout movement. Videos of the chief press spokesman’s old band, which were referred to as ‘homo punk’ by various media outlets showed a woman being stalked and a man writhing in newspaper. Mr Ackley had been the chief representative of the Scouts for several years, and also worked as a blogger for the organization, Breitbart reported.
He has been the main port of call for everything, from Girl Scouts wanting advice to parents concerned about changes in the movement. He was also sent in to soothe concerned mothers who claimed Planned Parenthood brochures were found at girls-only UN panel hosted by the group in 2011 Although the organization denied any knowledge of the brochure, the group has come under criticism in recent years for its distribution of funds from cookie sales and alleged support for abortion, the Washington Times reported. Parents singled out two Dead Bettie videos still available on YouTube, although the band’s account has been inactive for several years. In one, scenes of a woman being stalked and then strangled are cut in with footage of Mr Ackley, who performed under the name Joshua Starr, and the band playing.In another, a man is seen seemingly touching himself inappropriately while surrounded by newspapers to the band’s raw punk sound. Conservative campaign groups have been criticizing Mr Ackley’s role in the Girl Scout’s movement for more than a year. While he will no longer have as visible a profile within the organization, and his name has been removed from the press contact page, the Girl Scouts have said that he remains working in the press department. The Girl Scouts have not yet responded to a request for a comment from Mail Online.
I don’t care about Josh Ackley’s removal from chief Girl Scout whatever the fuck he is. It’s obviously bullshit to fire a guy for a band he was in 20 years ago. He didn’t commit a crime. He didn’t hurt anyone. He just made awful music videos where he stalked and strangled chicks and had a guy jerk off with a bunch of newspapers. There are far worse skeletons in many people’s closets.
What I do care about though is Josh Ackley having quite possibly the weirdest resume of all time. I mean I don’t know about everyone else but most people I know have basically the exact same resume. 4 year college and GPA no one gives a fuck about, meaningless entry level job out of college, one step above that in your mid 20′s, a few hobbies and a charity you give your time to. You look at 99.9% of the resumes in this world and they’ll look basically identical. But Josh Ackley, that guy is about to have some interesting interview conversations*. Homo Punk band to Chief Officer of a bunch of little girls that go door to door selling cookies. What a tremendous jump that was. What do you even say in an interview like that? Oh my strengths are strangling woman in fake punk videos and also inspiring little girls to be the best they can be at soliciting money from strangers? Josh Ackley better get his elevator pitch down pat because he is in for some interesting conversations.
I fundamentally don’t understand how this guy is not fat. I would have to assume there are cookies everywhere at Girl Scout Headquarters right? Has anyone ever seen a box of girl scout cookies and not eaten the entire thing immediately? If you put 1 million dollars and a box of Tagalongs on a table in front of me and said if I don’t touch a single cookie in the next 24 hours I would get the money, I honestly think I would fail.
*Just the thought of sitting in a job interview puts chills down my spine. Nothing worse.
That second one came out HOT
Bad News – You’re training your son to be a soccer goalie. Not even a soccer player who some chicks actually love, a soccer goalie, basically the lowest of the sports low.
Good News – You’re training him to be a fearless badass and he will most likely save every single ball ever shot his way because hey, it’s way better than a FUCKING CANNON.
Oh and you know this was the wife telling her husband she needs to spend more time with their son. Like honey, less time with the boys at the pub and more time playing footy with lil Sean. Fine, I’ll do it, but only if I get to use fire and medieval weapons and maybe “unintentionally” kill him.
(Source) A lot of people are worried that the Super Bowl being held outdoors at MetLife Stadium means snow or other inclement conditions will affect the draw of the annual entertainment and sports spectacle. But NFL commissioner Roger Goodell does not appear to be fazed by the possibility of snow on the day of the big game, even after last Sunday’s slate of NFL contests, when fumbles and other mishaps made the snowy conditions interesting but not necessarily conducive to top-tier play. Goodell embraced the challenges of poor weather Tuesday night at the National Football Foundation awards. He made it seem like a snowy Super Bowl — an anathema to many other people — is exactly what the commissioner is looking for.
Such a classic Goodell move. He has literally spent the last 3 years praying that there wouldn’t be any big time weather blunders in New York City for the Super Bowl. And you know deep down inside he is scared shitless of a fiasco. Everyone in the media has been on him, NFL fans, teams, ex players, you name it. Basically everyone in the world hates that the Super Bowl, a game that should be as neutral as possible, is in New Jersey.
And so then last weekend comes, and we have a bunch of Crazy finishes, partly because of the snow but partly because there is always that one Sunday in the NFL season where everything goes to shit, and what does Goodell do? He uses that to tell everyone that playing in the elements is the best and we hope things go crazy during the Super Bowl. Like oh wait, you guys like snow, well then shit I like snow too! That was my plan all along, do it outside in February for snow because we all like snow! It’s like when I misspell a word in a blog or put the percentage sign on the wrong side of the number. I could tell you I did it on purpose to “troll” you but everyone knows It’s because I’m an idiot. Same here, Goodell just pretending fun snowy games was his plan all along after the best snow weekend in memory. Can’t stand this guy anymore. It’s not that he is perpetually one step behind, it’s that he pretends he’s a thousand steps ahead. That everything was his idea first even though it’s a complete reaction to public outcry. Exactly how the concussion situation has gone. Completely reactionary yet tells the world he’s being proactive with player safety. All a total crock of shit.
What are people honestly hoping for on Super Bowl Sunday to stick it to Goodell? I think the best case scenario is like zero degrees and hurricane type wind. Basically the Patriots/Broncos game to decide the biggest sporting event of the year. Just botch the whole thing up and make his ginger dick squirm for the entire 5 hours. I would love nothing more.
Chief got mad at me for posting tatted girls. So you get Maggie Q, who plays a rogue assassin in the American adaptation of Nikita.
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Start your day off right. With some TBone Roulette
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Introducing Katy from Chicago. Potato sack city right here. Love Katy.
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