The joy I get out of this probably speaks negatively about me but I don’t care. Absolute facial on Adam Schefty.
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Source – Kids say the darndest things, but one local inquisitive 4-year-old boy asked a question that got him banned from a Monroe doughnut shop. ”We were screamed at in front of the door, ‘he’s not allowed in here, he’s rude’,” said Rebecca Denham as she described her experience at the Doughnut Inn on Tuesday morning. Denham said her son, Justin Otero, asked a woman at the doughnut shop if she had a baby in her belly. When the woman said ‘No’ Otero apologized, and his mother said she was mortified. ”My response was ‘Oh my goodness, I’m so embarrassed, I’m so sorry’,” Denham said.
While the woman said it was ‘no problem,’ the managers at the Doughnut Inn were not as forgiving. When Denham and her son walked in the shop Tuesday morning, they were allegedly told to leave. ”She said, ‘he’s not allowed in here,’ and I looked around, and said, ‘him?’ and she said ‘yeah, he’s rude’,” Denham said She said she tried to explain what happened to her son and said he “sort of” understands, but he is still asking questions.
Overreaction city by the doughnut shop here. I mean, we’re shaming kids at the age of 4 now? Just for not knowing to ask chicks if their pregnant? That’s ludicrous. It’s should be 5. Because that’s waaaay more reasonable. This ain’t Never Never Land, Justin. All children have to grow up sometime. But 4 is just a bit too early for a child to figure that out. Here were my goals at 4:
-Really nail down those ABC’s.
-Try not to piss your Underoos on the first day of school.
-Convince your parents to buy you that Jurassic Park Command Compound for Christmas.
Then, naturally at age 5 you probably should make the leap into stuff like calculus and learning intricate social protocols. Ones like not asking fat chicks in doughnut shops if they’re preggers. Odds are they’re just trying to hide that fat tire with a box of Krispy Kremes, Justin. Don’t worry you’ll learn in due time.
P.S. Got another pro-tip for ya Justin. Don’t ask if that baker’s dozen of jelly doughnuts are just for them. That’s a no-no too.
(Source) Kid Rock has been dragged into an ongoing sexual harassment lawsuit against the Insane Clown Posse because he allegedly owns a key piece of evidence in the case: a glass dildo. According to the Detroit Free Press, the country star has two weeks to respond to a subpoena issued by the attorneys for Andrea Pellegrini, who filed a lawsuit against ICP and its Psychopathic Records outpost in 2013.
Pellegrini worked as a publicist for the label for three years, which apparently drove her crazy — her legal complaints against the group include claims of sexual harassment and wrongful termination after she reported the offenses to her superiors. Court documents also described her experience at the 2012 Gathering of the Juggalos as “a living hell,” the details of which can be found here. This year’s installment of the annual Gathering kicks off today.
If it turns up, the dildo will serve as evidence that Pellegrini’s colleagues made inappropriate sexual advances. According to court documents (via KROQ), Psychopathic employee “Dirty Dan” Diamond offered Pellegrini the sex toy after he saw she changed her relationship status on Facebook to “Single,” and when she declined the gift, Diamond passed it along to Kid Rock. A press release from Pellegrini’s lawyers disclosed that Dirty Dan admitted under oath to making lewd comments to Pellegrini, but other reports claim Diamond defended the phallic object by calling it “a work of art.”
I love this story for the single reason that you know some big time Harvard Lawyer had to fill out this sub-poena request. To demand Kid Rock turn over a glass dildo once given to him by the Insane Clown Posse. Read that sentence again. That’s what’s going down right now in the ICP sexual harassment case, which on it’s own is utterly ridiculous. I feel like if you ever come into contact with ICP or a Juggalo being sexually harassed is completely par for the course. It’s like having no laws on international water. Juggalos don’t adhere to societal norms. If they want to grope a tit or stick their fingers in your asshole or give you a dildo because you’re recently single that’s their right. You can’t stop them and neither can the law.
After a Summer of Jogo Bonito, a heartbreaking Blackhawks loss, and another flaming bag of shit season from the Cubs/Sox, the Bears are finally back. Now, I know that there are those hardos who complain that they only care when the real shit starts, but if you can’t see the beauty of training camp then you need to close your eyes and try harder.
This is do-or-die time for countless hopefuls around the league. You don’t get a chance to season up or find yourself in a city like Birmingham, Rockford, or Daytona. There is no D-League where you can get the chance to chuck up 15 threes with Ricky Davis. You have roughly four weeks and four games to prove that you’re worth staying when they snip it down to 53. So here’s a little look into Chicago Bears Training Camp.
Part 1 will be about offense and tomorrow will be defense.
What To Watch: So as many of you know we had the chance to play in Cutler’s charity event last Friday. Great time-good weather, ciders for the boys, and some decent Volleyball matches. We got the chance to hang out with Jay in his nice little cabana where Big Cat helped himself to a few grapes while Eric rubbed some Banana Boat sunscreen on Fred’s shoulders. As I sat there I thought about what would be a good question to ask Jay and ended up with the doozy of a question- “What’s your spot in Nashville, bro?” Yeah, I know. Good question Intern-bitch. But the whole point of this is that it finally came to me what a great question would have been:
“Is this the most comfortable Jay Cutler has been in his career?”
Think about that. No one is truly comfortable as a rookie having to prove themselves constantly. He clearly wasn’t comfortable at the end of his tenure in Denver with how everything went down with McDaniels. His first four years with the Bears he was met with a new offensive coordinator damn near every season and got his head torn off by some god awful offensive lines. And last year he was in a contract year with another new coach.
Just look at the differences in this upcoming season:
Year Two w/ an offensive minded coach that he seems to be blending well with- Check
A Top 5 Running Back- Check
The best Wide Receiver duo in the NFL- Check
Returning an offensive line that allowed thirty sacks last year (4th best in NFL)- Check
126 million reasons to be happy- Check
A city that wants him to do well and is fully behind him- Well, Check to the first part. Still definitely can work on the haters who clearly have forgot what it was like to have Jonathon Quinn taking snaps.
Now some may say being comfortable isn’t the best thing, and I did just write the whole first paragraph on how competition fuels players in camp, but Quarterback is the one position where being completely comfortable matters. The stars are aligned and it’s going to be awesome to see Cutler really come into his own this year. As for the QB’s behind him, I wrote what I thought in this blog about a month ago. I still feel Clausen wins the #2 job under Trestman.
Who’s Gone: Michael Bush
Who will be coming into camp: Matt Forte, Tony Fiammetta(FB), Ka’Deem Carey, Michael Bush, Jordan Lynch, Senorise Perry, Sean Draughn
How many will Bears most likely keep: 4 (unless a fifth player really impresses on special teams)
The Biggest Question: Have the Bears found Forte’s successor in Carey?
A lot of hype has been made about how people loved the fourth rounder from Arizona. He showed great flashes during his time at U of A but his checkered off the field activities have been heavily publicized. He’s also not very fast but scouts say his vision makes up for it. Keep an eye on Carey these next four weeks but don’t be surprised if Michael Ford jumps him for the #2 job. Lynch is going to have to impress the staff big time on special teams if he wants to make the team. Fiammetta is a lock for fullback.
Who’s Gone: Earl Bennett
Who will head into camp: Brandon Marshall, Alshon Jeffery, Marquess Wilson, Eric Weems, Josh Morgan, Chris Williams, Terrence Toliver, Josh Bellamy, Armanti Edwards, and Michael Spurlock
How many will they keep: Most likely six is the number the Bears will aim for with half of that being looked at as major special teams contributors.
The Biggest Question: What can we expect out of Marquess Wilson this year?
Have you heard Wilson’s name enough yet? Everybody loves talking about him and maybe rightfully so. The guy has huge potential, Marshall & Jeffery has made Chicago wide receiver snobby and we want to completely flip the receiving game on it’s head. But, please let’s be a little patient with Wilson. He’s going to get his chances, especially considering the fact that I expect to see Marshall play a lot more slot this year because Kromer loves the slot. Just sit back and watch Marshall/Jeffery do there thing and get excited about watching Wilson play a bigger role each week.
Who’s Gone: Jonathon Scott
Who will head into camp: Jermon Bushrod, Matt Slauson, Roberto Garza, Kyle Long, Jordan Mills, Eben Britton, Brian de la Puente, Taylor Boggs, Cody Booth, James Brown, James Dunbar, Ryan Groy, Charles Leno, Joe Long, and Michael Ola
How many will they keep: About 10 give or take
The Biggest Question: Can our offensive line play at the same level as they did last year?
Big time forced question there because oddly enough there aren’t too many questions about the offensive line this year. If I told you in 2012 that in 2014 our offensive line would arguably be our deepest position you would have told me to jump in the lake. It’s absolutely insane how well Emery has rebuilt this line. I’m telling you right now the 1 on 1 drills between the O and D line are going to be the highlight of training camp this year. There are just a lot of talented guys fighting for a few roster spots. Expect to see the same starting five unless theres an injury but look out for Britton and de la puente to push for as much PT as they can. Britton filled in well in the season finale last year and played a ton of snaps as an extra linemen. The Bears also love there new rookies so watch out for them too.
Who’s Gone: Nobody
Who will head into camp: Martellus Bennett, Dante Rosario, Matthew Mulligan, Zach Miller, and Jeron Mastrud
How many will they keep: 2 or 3
The Biggest Question: Will Emery regret not addressing TE depth if Bennett goes down?
This is an issue that we’ve talked about many times this offseason at Barstool. Nobody really knows much about Rosario and how capable he would be if he had to step into a starting role. It was definitely a surprise that a TE was not taken in the draft. Just gotta pray that the dice roll pays off and Bennett stays healthy.
Bear Down. Defense tomorrow.
And this is why I don’t use a shopping cart at the Grocery Store. The allure of catching major speed, feeling that sweet wind in your hair, is just too great. And then you’re the asshole standing in the middle of the parking lot with a bunch of smashed beers and a rugburn on your knee hoping no one saw you eat shit even though you’re in Russia so it was 100% caught on a million dashboard cameras.
He basically was Peter Griffin with that knee injury. It can’t possibly be that bad man.
Not quite sure why Jimmy Fallon kind of glossed over the Rock’s answer there. Did you think he was joking or something? Because I can assure you he was not. 90′s Rock just strolling around town ready for anything. Like the old saying goes, there has never been a problem in life that can’t be solved with a pop tart or a condom.
Buff Ass Lesbian.