h/t EliteDaily, even though the blogger who commented on them is totally wrong:
For your cringing amusement, someone dug up 13 “dating tips” for women in 1938. We’re not sure where these were published, but I imagine it was a sort of Cosmopolitan magazine, minus the sex tips and adding a whole lot of just plain sexism. Read below for the full 13 misguided “pieces of advice.” Ladies, note that this is what not to do.
Don’t sit in awkward positions — and never look bored, even if you are. Be alert, and if you must chew gum (not advised), do it silently, mouth closed.
Newsflash ladies. Nobody wants to date a chick with with bad posture who just fucks around on her phone all day and smacks her gum. Pin those shoulders back and pretend to care about how close I get to winning my fantasy football league every year.
Don’t drink too much, as a man expects you to keep your dignity all evening. Drinking may make some girls seem clever, but most get silly.
I weigh 180 lbs. Most… and I mean most of my dates don’t weigh that much. Probably shouldn’t be going drink for drink with a dude if you weigh like 65% of his body weight. That ain’t sexist. That’s science.
Don’t Be Familiar with the headwaiter talking about the fun you had with someone else another time. Men deserve, desire your entire attention
Is this a problem? Does this shit happen? Your date gets so bored with you that she just starts talking with the waiter and ignores the shit out of you? Only thing I can relate to is when a broad knows the waitress at the restaurant. That shit is always pretty awkward but a chick making new best friends with a random waiter is a new one.
Don’t be familiar with your escort by caressing him in public. Any open show of affection is in bad taste, usually embarrasses or humiliates him
Some people don’t like PDA. Not too hard to figure out. Personally, I can’t stand it when somebody unexpectedly touches my face. Gotta ease into that stuff and get to know each other. Maybe don’t slip your hand into my jeans back pocket before we’ve seen each other naked. And save blowjobs / handjobs for the car ride home.
Don’t be sentimental or try to get him to say something he doesn’t want to by working on his emotions. Men don’t like tears, especially in public places
Nobody likes crying in public. That’s why Top Gun is an off limits topic on the first date. Even the thought of Goose just floating in the water… sorry, I can’t. I’m getting the keyboard all wet.
Men don’t like girls who borrow their handkerchievf and smudge them with lipstick. Makeup in privacy, not where he sees you
With all these unwanted tears, I need a handkerchief now. And if I’m getting a handkerchief, I want it to be a nice one. And if I have a nice handkerchief I don’t want it covered in lipstick. That’s just rude.
Ever seen a chick curl her eye lashes in front of you? It looks terrifying. I appreciate the effort but do that stuff in the john. Girls don’t poop so why else is it there?
Don’t talk about clothes or try to describe your new gown to a man. Please and flatter your date by talking about things he wants to talk about.
Frankly, I just don’t know what women’s clothes are called so I’m not really gonna be able to chime in on this topic. Unless she has one of those “sexy dick wrecker dresses” or is just talking about yoga pants/shorts I’m not gonna know what the hell is going on. I literally call one type of dress that chicks wear “tit curtains” because they cut off high and hang straight down so you can’t get an idea of what her stomach is like. I just don’t think we share the right vocabulary.
Careless women never appeal to gentleman. Don’t talk while dancing, for when a man dances he wants to dance
I’m guessing the dancing styles have changed a bit since 1938 but the same rules still apply. Like the majority of dudes who are terrible at dancing, I’m trying not to look like an asshole out there. Can’t be distracting me with questions about what went wrong with my last ex while I try to twirl and dip you because that’s pretty much the only move I’ve got going for me. Somebody’s liable to get dropped that way.
If you need a brassiere, wear one. Don’t tug at your girdle, and be careful your stockings are not wrinkled
WRONG. Only thing they got wrong back then. I won’t deny that a good bra can make some tatas look great but I’ll never advocate putting sweater puppies in a box. Free them titties.
Don’t be conspicuous talking to other men. The last straw is to pass out from too much liquor. Chances are your date will never call you again!
So don’t flirt with other dudes during the date and don’t get black out / pass out drunk? Oh the humanity! The oppression!
This last picture is just laugh out loud funny to me. Seen / experienced this scenario dozens of times. Nobody’s wanted to date some sloppy broad who gets drunk and tries to bang every guy in sight for 75 years. Shocker. Time is a flat circle huh?