Tour Dates

  • District N9NE
    Philadelphia, PA

    April 25th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Irving Plaza
    New York City, NY

    April 26th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Toad's Place
    New Haven, CT

    January 30th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Lupo's
    Providence, RI

    January 31st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Webster Theater
    Hartford, CT

    February 21st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Palladium
    Worcester, MA

    February 22nd, 2014 9:00 PM
  • Sherman Theater
    East Stroudsburg, PA

    March 1st, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Union Bar
    Iowa City, IA

    March 8th, 2014 6:00 PM
  • The Boulder Theater
    Boulder, CO

    March 15th, 2014 9:00 PM
  • The Fillmore
    Charlotte, NC

    April 4th, 2014 10:00 PM
  • House Of Blues
    Myrtle Beach, SC

    April 5th, 2014 9:00 PM

Hot Galleries

Guy Removed As Official Girl Scout Spokesman After People Found Out He Used To Be In A “Homo Punk” Band

 

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(Source) The ex-front man of a ‘homo-punk’ band has been removed as the official Girl Scouts spokesman after outraged mothers complained. Risque videos from Joshua Ackley’s band The Dead Betties led to a flurry of complaints by parents who questioned whether he was the best person to represent the Girl Scout movement. Videos of the chief press spokesman’s old band, which were referred to as ‘homo punk’ by various media outlets showed a woman being stalked and a man writhing in newspaper. Mr Ackley had been the chief representative of the Scouts for several years, and also worked as a blogger for the organization, Breitbart reported.

He has been the main port of call for everything, from Girl Scouts wanting advice to parents concerned about changes in the movement. He was also sent in to soothe concerned mothers who claimed Planned Parenthood brochures were found at girls-only UN panel hosted by the group in 2011 Although the organization denied any knowledge of the brochure, the group has come under criticism in recent years for its distribution of funds from cookie sales and alleged support for abortion, the Washington Times reported.  Parents singled out two Dead Bettie videos still available on YouTube, although the band’s account has been inactive for several years.  In one, scenes of a woman being stalked and then strangled are cut in with footage of Mr Ackley, who performed under the name Joshua Starr, and the band playing.In another, a man is seen seemingly touching himself inappropriately while surrounded by newspapers to the band’s raw punk sound.  Conservative campaign groups have been criticizing Mr Ackley’s role in the Girl Scout’s movement for more than a year.  While he will no longer have as visible a profile within the organization, and his name has been removed from the press contact page, the Girl Scouts have said that he remains working in the press department.  The Girl Scouts have not yet responded to a request for a comment from Mail Online.

 

 

I don’t care about Josh Ackley’s removal from chief Girl Scout whatever the fuck he is. It’s obviously bullshit to fire a guy for a band he was in 20 years ago. He didn’t commit a crime. He didn’t hurt anyone. He just made awful music videos where he stalked and strangled chicks and had a guy jerk off with a bunch of newspapers. There are far worse skeletons in many people’s closets.

 

What I do care about though is Josh Ackley having quite possibly the weirdest resume of all time. I mean I don’t know about everyone else but most people I know have basically the exact same resume. 4 year college and GPA no one gives a fuck about, meaningless entry level job out of college, one step above that in your mid 20′s, a few hobbies and a charity you give your time to. You look at 99.9% of the resumes in this world and they’ll look basically identical. But Josh Ackley, that guy is about to have some interesting interview conversations*. Homo Punk band to Chief Officer of a bunch of little girls that go door to door selling cookies. What a tremendous jump that was. What do you even say in an interview like that? Oh my strengths are strangling woman in fake punk videos and also inspiring little girls to be the best they can be at soliciting money from strangers? Josh Ackley better get his elevator pitch down pat because he is in for some interesting conversations.

 

 

PS

I fundamentally don’t understand how this guy is not fat. I would have to assume there are cookies everywhere at Girl Scout Headquarters right? Has anyone ever seen a box of girl scout cookies and not eaten the entire thing immediately? If you put 1 million dollars and a box of Tagalongs on a table in front of me and said if I don’t touch a single cookie in the next 24 hours I would get the money, I honestly think I would fail.

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*Just the thought of sitting in a job interview puts chills down my spine. Nothing worse.

By Big Cat posted December 12th, 2013 at 10:20 AM

Dad Of The Year Goes To….Guy Training His Kid To Be A Better Soccer Goalie By Shooting Cannons At His Face

That second one came out HOT

 

Bad News – You’re training your son to be a soccer goalie. Not even a soccer player who some chicks actually love, a soccer goalie, basically the lowest of the sports low.

 

Good News – You’re training him to be a fearless badass and he will most likely save every single ball ever shot his way because hey, it’s way better than a FUCKING CANNON.

 

 

Oh and you know this was the wife telling her husband she needs to spend more time with their son. Like honey, less time with the boys at the pub and more time playing footy with lil Sean. Fine, I’ll do it, but only if I get to use fire and medieval weapons and maybe “unintentionally” kill him.

 

 

By Big Cat posted December 12th, 2013 at 9:40 AM

Goodell Conveniently Says He Loves Playing In The Elements And Can’t Wait For The Super Bowl After Sunday’s Snow Games Were Universally Loved

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(Source) A lot of people are worried that the Super Bowl being held outdoors at MetLife Stadium means snow or other inclement conditions will affect the draw of the annual entertainment and sports spectacle. But NFL commissioner Roger Goodell does not appear to be fazed by the possibility of snow on the day of the big game, even after last Sunday’s slate of NFL contests, when fumbles and other mishaps made the snowy conditions interesting but not necessarily conducive to top-tier play. Goodell embraced the challenges of poor weather Tuesday night at the National Football Foundation awards. He made it seem like a snowy Super Bowl — an anathema to many other people — is exactly what the commissioner is looking for.
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Such a classic Goodell move. He has literally spent the last 3 years praying that there wouldn’t be any big time weather blunders in New York City for the Super Bowl. And you know deep down inside he is scared shitless of a fiasco. Everyone in the media has been on him, NFL fans, teams, ex players, you name it. Basically everyone in the world hates that the Super Bowl, a game that should be as neutral as possible, is in New Jersey.
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And so then last weekend comes, and we have a bunch of Crazy finishes, partly because of the snow but partly because there is always that one Sunday in the NFL season where everything goes to shit, and what does Goodell do? He uses that to tell everyone that playing in the elements is the best and we hope things go crazy during the Super Bowl. Like oh wait, you guys like snow, well then shit I like snow too! That was my plan all along, do it outside in February for snow because we all like snow! It’s like when I misspell a word in a blog or put the percentage sign on the wrong side of the number. I could tell you I did it on purpose to “troll” you but everyone knows It’s because I’m an idiot.  Same here, Goodell just pretending fun snowy games was his plan all along after the best snow weekend in memory. Can’t stand this guy anymore. It’s not that he is perpetually one step behind, it’s that he pretends he’s a thousand steps ahead. That everything was his idea first even though it’s a complete reaction to public outcry. Exactly how the concussion situation has gone. Completely reactionary yet tells the world he’s being proactive with player safety. All a total crock of shit.
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What are people honestly hoping for on Super Bowl Sunday to stick it to Goodell? I think the best case scenario is like zero degrees and hurricane type wind. Basically the Patriots/Broncos game to decide the biggest sporting event of the year. Just botch the whole thing up and make his ginger dick squirm for the entire 5 hours. I would love nothing more.
By Big Cat posted December 12th, 2013 at 9:00 AM

Barstool Chicago Local Smokeshow Of The Day – Katy

 

Introducing Katy from Chicago. Potato sack city right here. Love Katy.

 

Send all smoke submissions to chicagotips@barstoolsports.com. Time to reload.

By Big Cat posted December 11th, 2013 at 5:00 PM

European Governments Get Hacked Because Employees Clicked Links That Advertised Nudes of the French President’s Wife

 

NYT – Computer breaches at the foreign ministries of the Czech RepublicPortugalBulgariaLatvia and Hungary have been traced to Chinese hackers. The attacks, which began in 2010, are continuing, according to a report to be released Tuesday by FireEye, a computer security company in Milpitas, Calif. Though researchers do not name the hackers’ targets in the report, The New York Times identified the foreign ministries through email addresses listed on the attackers’ web page. A person with knowledge of the investigation, who was not authorized to speak publicly, confirmed that the foreign ministries of the five countries had been breached.

The attackers sent their targets emails with a link that claimed to contain naked photos of Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, wife of former President Nicolas Sarkozy of France. Once clicked, attackers were able to gain a foothold into their targets’ computer networks, though investigators said they were unable to see which files the attackers had taken. The closest they came was last August when FireEye’s researchers were able to infiltrate one of the group’s 23 command-and-control servers for one week. They could see that the server had breached 21 different targets, including government ministries in the five European countries.

 

 

I am absolutely shocked we don’t hear about this shit happening more in America. I’m not trying to give the Chinese any ideas or anything, but if you hit up the DOD mail server and sent something with the subject line: OMG!!! Did the Bush twins really do this in the oval office?? I’m pretty sure you’d have our strategy for troop movements for the next 10 years by close of business. Just couldn’t help it. Way too tempting. Sure, you want to wait till you get home and don’t have to use your government issued computer with all the launch codes and alien secrets on it. But some things just can’t wait. Twins, man.

Hey China, if you want any pirated movies or copies of all my 10th grade Powerpoint presentations, feel free to email me something with a link to a “Kendall Jenner or McKayla Maroney sex tape”. At this point, I will click on those 1000% of the time. Pretty sure my laptop has the digital equivalent of AIDS.

 

P.S. Carla Bruni-Sarkozy was/is an absolute smokebomb. The Chinese are getting too smart. They didn’t send links to an abnormally large breasted cartoon woman with cat ears getting double teamed by the Kraken and Squidward. They figured out Westerners just like leggy smokes who prance around in bikinis.

By sobol posted December 11th, 2013 at 4:20 PM

Good News Everyone, Jed Has A Plan, The Cubs Are Going To Be Just Like The Mariners!

 

 

Now obviously the point here is that the Cubs plan on building from within. Then and only then will they become a player in the free agent market.  But really? The Mariners? Couldn’t have come up with a better test case than the team that has finished last or second to last for SIX straight years? Oh and the same team that just shelled out a 10 year 240 million dollar contract that basically everyone in the world thinks is a bad idea. Yeah lets maybe not compare the rebuilding process to those guys. Not exactly building confidence from within with that one.

 

 

Officially became a season ticket holder today, now as long as I can hold out for like 10 more years they may be worth something.

By Big Cat posted December 11th, 2013 at 3:40 PM

Instagram Heatcheck Of The Day

 


 

thanks to ian

By Big Cat posted December 11th, 2013 at 3:00 PM

North Dakota Hockey Player Arrested After Skipping Out On Cab Fare

 

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(Source) UND men’s hockey sophomore forward Bryn Chyzyk, facing a charge for allegedly running out on a cab fare estimated at $4, has been suspended indefinitely from the team. Chyzyk, 21, pleaded not guilty Monday to theft of less than $250 in Grand Forks Municipal Court. UND head coach Dave Hakstol announced the suspension Monday afternoon, saying that there will be no chance for re-instatement until at least January. Hakstol also said there would be no further comment. Chyzyk was arrested at 1:41 a.m. Monday at the Valley Dairy store at 1220 University Ave. on a report of “larceny theft,” according to the police log, for running out on a taxi bill. “It was from downtown to the Valley Dairy, probably about four bucks,” said Mike Swehle, owner of S&S Taxi, who said one of his drivers was victimized by Chyzyk. “He ran into the Valley Dairy.” Chyzyk was booked into the county jail about 2:10 a.m. on a city charge of theft of services of under $250. He appeared this morning in municipal court and was released pending his next appearance, which would be a bench trial before a city judge on Feb. 19.

 

 

Pussification of North Dakota. I mean has anyone ever heard of a hockey player skipping out on a cab fare or getting in a fight with a cab driver over money? No. Exactly. It’s never happened as far as I know. So Bryn Chyzyk made a mistake. He thought he had cash on him and realized he didn’t so he ran away from his cab driver. Big fucking deal. 4 bucks. There is no precedence for this, something like this has never taken place. Maybe if hockey players knew that getting into fights with cab drivers was bad I would have a different take, but since that’s never happened, I’m giving Bryn a pass. Now every hockey player in the country knows to not get in disagreements with cab drivers. Bittersweet. Sweet that we finally have a teaching moment, bitter that it took until December 2013 for the first ever hockey player/cab driver run in.

 

 

thanks to andy for the tip

By Big Cat posted December 11th, 2013 at 2:20 PM
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