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Does This Look Like The Face Of A Teachers Assistant Who Quit Her Job Because She Was Making 6 Figures From Twerking On Vine?
Formerly working as a teaching assistant Jessica, from Florida, quit her job after advertisers discovered her dance moves through her Vine videos. The large companies had noticed the attention that Jessica’s assets were drawing in and offered to pay her large amounts of money in exchange for her mentioning their products to her two million strong following. For Jessica quitting her role as a teacher was a no-brainer when she did the maths and realised that she could earning more twerking than she could ever have dreamed of working in a school. She said: ‘What I make in six seconds would take me four months to make as a teaching assistant.
American dream baby! Vanessa here was sick and tired of dealing with little shits kids all day and decided to quit her job to pursue her career in vine comedy and boy was it a good decision because she is hilarious!
Just kiddng she got all her followers from dropping ridiculous twerk videos and has managed to monetize that into making 6 figures. 6! I’m not gunna sit here and say that it’s unfair that she makes more money in a 6 second vine than I do in a month, or that shes a talentless and unfunny and would be nowhere without her fat lumpy ass, none of that matters. All I want to know is who is this guy and where can I apply?
Look I’ve said on many many occassions that the coolest thing a person can do is be rich. Well if you think it’s happening through hard work you’re out of your mind. Obviously I need to win it on Draftkings, and that’s exactly what I plan on doing this week. Millionaire by Monday. Watch it happen, I dare you.
-DraftKings Week 6 Millionaire Maker
-Turn $27 into $1,000,000
-$2,200,000 in total prizes
-$1,000,000 first place prize
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Big Cat (8-5) – Louisville/Clemson Over 47.5
Pres (6-7) – Northwestern +4
Hank (8-5) – Oklahoma -14.5
Deep breaths. Deep, deep breaths. The week’s gone by and cooler heads are now in tact. The last few weeks have been ugly but what is the point of getting all negative about everything? It’s the NFL. Crazy shit happens every season and for us to count ourselves out in Week 6 is no fun for anybody. So let’s all take a deep breath and realize we have already lost to Atlanta in about the worst possible way, so we’ve got nothing to worry about.
1st Down: DEVIN HESTER YOU ARE RIDICULOUS
Okay I know I was all about deep breaths just a few seconds ago, but let’s just call it how were gonna see it for a second. There is absolutely no way that Hester doesn’t have a monster game right? All the shit he’s said since he’s left tells me that he’s not quite fond of his old team. This shit has been circled on his calendar since the day he signed with Atlanta. There is no way he let’s his chance at sticking it to his old team slip through his hands right?
2nd Down: The Turnover Parties Are Starting To Suck
Like I get it. No shit man, nobody likes to turn the ball over you moron. I really try not to do vanilla ass topics like this but for christ sakes it’s needed. The Bears takeaway difference this year is sitting at 1 in the positive which puts us at number 16 in the NFL. Certainly not horrible but if you look at the stats it’s pretty dog shit. I talk a lot about the turnover parties we’ve had this year and basically this is how they go down: It’s the banger of the Summer. Chicks are having a blast, dancing in place and ready to get a little naughty. Your boy Frankie J is on the iPod and just blasted “JOE CRACKED THE THONG, UH”. The girls dancing in place then start to gravitate towards your boys and you know shits about to get good. Then as soon as shit’s about to get good your polish buddy named Hubert runs into the room after chugging 5 beers out of a bowl, does a 180 spin and pukes up cream of wheat soup all over the basement floor. Chicks runaway crying, Frankie J’s fresh J’s are fucked, and Fat Joe gets turned off and the Monster Mash or some shit comes on.
Now, none of that may have made sense but basically what I was trying to say was the Bears D has forced 11 turnovers(second in the NFL) and the offense has turned it over 10 times. Get it together.
3rd Down: Keep It Simple
Atlanta has been the second worst team against the run this year. Yes, our wide receivers are the shiny toys but let Forte do his thing. He had probably one of the worst turnovers of his career last week so I would imagine that he’s going to be running on all cylinders. The only team that has been worse than them against the run is the Packers and Forte almost had over 100 yards against them in the first half. Establish it and sprinkle the ball all throughout the Georgia Dome. Simple, simple shit.
4th Down: Nickel Needs To Get Figured Out
It finally looks like Sherrick McManis will play and boy do we need him. It is a little nerve-wracking though to have to rely on our nickel that hasn’t played in weeks. When Atlanta signed Hester and said that he was going to play offense I think that the whole city let out a loud laugh at once. But here we are Week 6 where Hester may not only bite our ass in the return game but also on offense. We know who Julio Jones and Roddy White are, but what exactly is Hester at this point? I have a bad feeling we’re going to get a better look at it this week. Needless to say this is the first week that Tillman will truly, truly be missed.
Did I just turn 4th down into 1st down? Yeah, I think so. Am I losing my mind? Yeah, I know so. Just get a damn win, please.