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Girl Running With A Head Mounted GoPro Is Not Bad (It’s Very Good)

 

 

Well then. Thank you internet. I didn’t know that I needed a chick running with a GoPro attached to her head facing directly at her chest but apparently I did.

 

 

I think the pre-run stretching was actually the best part right? Even watching other people exercise is too much exercise for me.

 

 

By Big Cat posted April 28th, 2014 at 2:00 PM

Baddie Winkle Is The Hottest Grandma On The Internet And Ladies, She’s Here To Steal Your Man

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I don’t know if this grandmother is real. I mean she’s obviously a real person, but I don’t know if she’s the one posting these pictures, or if it’s some elaborate Kimmel ruse or what (for what it’s worth she claims she runs it herself)  Either way it doesn’t really matter because it’s fucking hysterical. Old people are awesome. Old people who flat out don’t give a fuck are the absolute best. Old people who flat out don’t give a fuck and know how to work the internet are one in a billion. Baddie Winkle, just stealing your man and living forever, baddest bitch on the block. Peace.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bye H8ers!

 

Pop, Lock, N’ Drop It

By Big Cat posted April 28th, 2014 at 12:45 PM

4 Down, 12 To Go. Blackhawks vs Blues Recap

Fantastic series. Can’t say that enough. Nothing in sports beats OT playoff hockey and the Hawks and Blues played 4 of those. The margin for error between the two teams was razor thin, but the Hawks had the special players to make the difference. The NHL going back to divisional playoffs is one of the best decisions the league has ever made.  This matchup isn’t going anywhere. Both teams are relatively young. The Blues, Hawks, and Avs will be having great battles in the central for years to come. The difference here is that the Hockey Gods would never allow a team with Backes, Lapierre, Ott, Polak, and Jackman to win anything significant. Too scummy of a team. Feels good to have a divisional rival again though.

 

–I hate to nitpick after ripping off four straight wins so I will get the one criticism/question of Quenneville out of the way now. If Bollig(1:50 TOI) and Nordstrom(2:07) aren’t going to play why are they in the lineup? Versteeg hadn’t been playing well and he probably deserved to see a game from the press box, but he certainly gives you more than Nordstrom. I like having a sheriff in the lineup, but maybe in the next round you won’t need him since the Avs/Wild don’t run around as much as STL. I’d like to see Morin get a look. More upside with Morin and he plays with enough snarl.

 

–Blues had 52:37 of powerplay time in the series and got 2 goals. That’s an incredible stat. Almost a full hour of powerplay time and virtually nothing to show for it. The Hawks’ PK struggled at the outset of the year, but it’s been pretty good since probably Christmas time. Handzus and Hjalmarsson really set the tone with their shot blocking, but the entire unit is working well and the faceoffs have been great. Most importantly, their best penalty killer was the goaltender.

 

–Corey Crawford stood up after the first couple games and took the blame. He said he had to be better, and he was. Sensational 4 game for stretch for Crawford. .952sv% in those four games and made many difficult stops with Blues in his face. I don’t know what else Corey Crawford has to do to get respect. All the guy does is win and stand up for his teammates. For some reason one bad game in the Stanley Cup Finals, a game that the Hawks still won, has over-shadowed the rest of his career. He could’ve easily won the Conn Smythe last year, but all people want to talk about is his supposed leaky glove hand.

 

–”Every time someone seemed to be scoring a goal, he had 19 or 88 or 81 or 10 on his back”–Ken Hitchcock. Couldn’t have said it better myself(maybe I could have, I did it in the preview blog). The Hawks elite scorers were the difference in the series. When space gets tight in the playoffs you need special players to make plays in a flash. The Blues had Tarasenko, the Hawks had everyone else.

 

–Ben Smith really emerged for the Hawks. He was arguably the best player on the ice in Game 5.  He has been a big game player going all the way back to his high school days. Coach Q giving him big minutes in the top 6 gave the Hawks an extra dimension. No offense to Handzus, but he can’t skate well enough to play major minutes anymore.

 

–Duncan Keith was named a Norris Trophy Finalist today. Less that 24 hours removed from what Coach Q called the best game of his life. I think I agree with him. Both teams looked a little sluggish at the outset yesterday. The only player who was dominant from the moment the puck dropped was Duncan Keith. Gap control was perfect all night, he made countless plays at the blueline, started the rush, and obviously had a big night on the score sheet. He should absolutely win the Norris again this year and their isn’t a defenseman in the NHL I’d rather have. He’s superman.

 

–Several people asked me on twitter yesterday who I’d rather see in the 2nd round and I’ve seen a few Hawks columnists write pieces on that question. Would I rather have home ice against a team with Kuemper/Bryz or play on the road against a Vezina Finalist and the 2nd fastest team in the NHL? What are we even talking about here? Give me the Wild 1 billion % of the time.

 

 

 

With that I turn it over to the comment section. You guys were downright prophetic after my blog saying that Miller wouldn’t make a difference.

Ryan Miller Best Of The Comment Section:

“I don’t think I’ve ever read an unbiased blog on this site. If you don’t think Miller improves the Blues cup chances heavily, you clearly know nothing about hockey. Get off your Hawks pedestal.”–Dolomite4

K, See ya.

“Ryan Miller posted a .925 save percentage on the leagues worst team, pretty sure hes gonna make a difference on the blues…”–Soucthemoose

Well he had a .897sv% in the series, but ok.

Huge deal for the Blues! They already have a great team and now they add a top 5 Goalie in NHL! I would say they are Cup Favorites!”–BriGuy

Much has been made about how the Blues played an eerily similar series vs the Kings in the first round this year. Now they have a top 5 goalie and got bounced in the first round in 6 games again. Got it.

“Chicago is TOO SOFT to beat the Blues this year”–Nobodyfuckswiththejesus

I don’t really understand the Hawks are soft line of thinking. 1) Hard to throw hits when you have the puck on your stick the whole time and 2) you don’t win the Stanley Cup by being soft. They went through LA and Boston last year. Two of the “toughest” teams in the NHL. This is basically the same roster as last year, but somehow the Hawks are softer.

“Might be the worst hockey blog ever written on the stool. And that says A LOT. Miller is top 2 when he’s at the top of his game. And he’s pretty close to being there. You’re out of your mind if you don’t think this puts them close to the cup finals. And I’m a bruins fan. Miller is insane.”–Carmine-Scarpaglia

Good one to end on. It ended up putting them exactly as close to the Finals as they were last year.


By theChief posted April 28th, 2014 at 12:15 PM

Drunk Driver In Belgium Refuses To Stop Crashing Into Buildings At 5 MPH

 

 

Should anyone drive drunk? No, definitely not. BUT, if you’re going to drive drunk you might as well be the best drunk driver there is and refuse to get out of your car while simultaneously crashing into a million different buildings. Just saying. It’s not worth winning if you can’t win big.

 

 

 

What a hardo move  by this guy. Oh man don’t want this guy to keep crashing into things at 2 mph, gotta smash this glass with my bare hands. Relax dude, he had a couple beers, none of this is real anyway, it’s Belgium.

By Big Cat posted April 28th, 2014 at 11:35 AM

Funniest Man In The World Shaq Makes Fun Of Disabled Kid On Instagram, Whoops!

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(Source) The retired athlete posted a picture on Instagram of his own contorted face next to Jahmel Binion’s selfie. FOX 2 reports the post, captioned “Smile today”, earned more than 14,000 likes with former University of Michigan athlete Trey Burke and rapper Waka Flocka Flame joining in on the teasing. The post has been deleted. But for Binion, the damage has been done. With missing teeth and abnormal hair growth caused by the rare disorder ectodermal dysplasia, the Michigan man is used to getting bullied – but Shaq’s mockery was too much to bear. He considered Shaq his basketball idol and respected the former high-profile athlete’s charitable works and advocacy for disadvantaged children in America.

“I’ve been getting teased since I was yay (sic) tall. People laugh at me, stare at me,” Binion said. “I was kind of hurt because I’ve always looked up to him. I’ve watched Shaq play basketball since I was (inaudible), so I was like, why are you making fun of me? He is supposed to be this role model.” Despite the abuse, Binion has a positive outlook. He said the cruel taunts have inspired him to start an anti-bullying campaign called Hug Don’t Judge. “I can’t let it get to me, because then I get hurt and depressed,” he said. O’Neal did not respond to Fox’s request for comment.

 

 

I really want to feel bad for Jahmel Binion, sounds like he’s had a pretty shitty life, but I just can’t. Sorry Jahmel but this is just the price we all have to pay to be around Shaq aka Shaqtus aka Shaqfu aka The Big Aristotle aka the funniest man in the world. Dude wakes up and does hilarious things. Voices, faces, nicknames, fake tripping over trash cans last night

 

 

you name it Shaq does it. That’s just comedy bro, so yeah sometimes disabled people get made fun of. Sorry Shaq is trying to make us laugh, maybe next time don’t be so disabled and Shaq won’t have to make fun of you, ever think of that? Because last I checked no one does comedy like Shaq does comedy. Funniest guy in the world, and it’s not even close.

 

 

 

PS

This story is so absurdly unreal you can’t even make it up. I feel like every day we see a pro athlete do the right thing and defend disabled kids and kids getting bullied at school. Then you have Shaq, just bashing the fuck out of some poor kid that idolizes him. Unreal.

By Big Cat posted April 28th, 2014 at 11:05 AM

Woman Eats 12 Pounds Of Pudding In Under 3 Minutes, Would You?

 

GO MOLLY, GO MOLLY!

 

 

Well then. Not exactly sure what went on here but I think I’m kind of turned on. That was fucking bizarre. Just a ton of slurping and swallowing and pudding and then bam I can’t turn my eyes. Locked in. I think I’m a pudding fetish guy now. I think that’s what just happened.

 

 

 

Congrats Molly, you are officially Amazinngggg *said in the nerdiest voice possible*

 

 

 

 

PS

Hey man, Ray Lewis called, he’d like his look back.

ray

By Big Cat posted April 28th, 2014 at 10:20 AM

I Think Vanessa Stiviano Just Invented Paparazzi Kryptonite With This Face Visor Thingy

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BOOM! Have fun taking your pictures when you’re staring into the face of a tinted out visor bitches. I don’t even know what that thing is. It looks like one of those Golf Visors the Asian women that take 10 hours to play 18 holes and never let you play through wear, only on steroids (that’s not racist because Vanessa Stiviano is half asian). Either that or a Welder’s mask. Next level attire for the chick who just released the most salacious tape of all time. Now all she needs to do is stop wearing frumpy tutu’s and t-shirts that look like a child’s bed sheets and we may just have something here. Also stop taking pictures with black people, but you already knew that rule.

 

 

By Big Cat posted April 28th, 2014 at 9:30 AM

HE’S BAAAAAAAAAAAACCCKKKK!

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The sun rose today like it does every day, only this day saw the triumphant return of Darren Rovell! And if we’re being totally honest with each other I sort of missed him. It was funny when he got suspended for 24 hours but when a day became a week I noticed a hole in my life. It’s like when an animal goes extinct and throws off the entire ec0-system. The entire world out of wack. As much as I hate Rovell I will now admit I need him. He’s the nerd balance we all need. Without him everyone in the world is normal.  No robots spitting obscure sports biz facts in our ear. I missed you D. Every ocean needs it’s squid, thankful we got ours back today.

By Big Cat posted April 28th, 2014 at 8:50 AM
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