Hot Galleries

These 1938 Dating PSA’s for Chicks on a First Date are Still Pretty Spot-on

h/t EliteDaily, even though the blogger who commented on them is totally wrong:

For your cringing amusement, someone dug up 13 “dating tips” for women in 1938. We’re not sure where these were published, but I imagine it was a sort of Cosmopolitan magazine, minus the sex tips and adding a whole lot of just plain sexism. Read below for the full 13 misguided “pieces of advice.” Ladies, note that this is what not to do.

 

dont sit awkward

 

Don’t sit in awkward positions — and never look bored, even if you are. Be alert, and if you must chew gum (not advised), do it silently, mouth closed.

 

Newsflash ladies. Nobody wants to date a chick with with bad posture who just fucks around on her phone all day and smacks her gum. Pin those shoulders back and pretend to care about how close I get to winning my fantasy football league every year.

 

drink too much

Don’t drink too much, as a man expects you to keep your dignity all evening. Drinking may make some girls seem clever, but most get silly.

I weigh 180 lbs. Most… and I mean most of my dates don’t weigh that much. Probably shouldn’t be going drink for drink with a dude if you weigh like 65% of his body weight. That ain’t sexist. That’s science.

 

fun with the waiter

 

Don’t Be Familiar with the headwaiter talking about the fun you had with someone else another time. Men deserve, desire your entire attention

Is this a problem? Does this shit happen? Your date gets so bored with you that she just starts talking with the waiter and ignores the shit out of you? Only thing I can relate to is when a broad knows the waitress at the restaurant. That shit is always pretty awkward but a chick making new best friends with a random waiter is a new one.

 

PDA

Don’t be familiar with your escort by caressing him in public. Any open show of affection is in bad taste, usually embarrasses or humiliates him

Some people don’t like PDA. Not too hard to figure out. Personally, I can’t stand it when somebody unexpectedly touches my face. Gotta ease into that stuff and get to know each other. Maybe don’t slip your hand into my jeans back pocket before we’ve seen each other naked. And save blowjobs / handjobs for the car ride home.

 

sentimental

Don’t be sentimental or try to get him to say something he doesn’t want to by working on his emotions. Men don’t like tears, especially in public places

Nobody likes crying in public. That’s why Top Gun is an off limits topic on the first date. Even the thought of Goose just floating in the water… sorry, I can’t. I’m getting the keyboard all wet.

 

smuding handkerchief

Men don’t like girls who borrow their handkerchievf and smudge them with lipstick. Makeup in privacy, not where he sees you

With all these unwanted tears, I need a handkerchief now. And if I’m getting a handkerchief, I want it to be a nice one. And if I have a nice handkerchief I don’t want it covered in lipstick. That’s just rude.

Ever seen a chick curl her eye lashes in front of you? It looks terrifying. I appreciate the effort but do that stuff in the john. Girls don’t poop so why else is it there?

 

talking about clothes

Don’t talk about clothes or try to describe your new gown to a man. Please and flatter your date by talking about things he wants to talk about.

 

Frankly, I just don’t know what women’s clothes are called so I’m not really gonna be able to chime in on this topic. Unless she has one of those “sexy dick wrecker dresses” or is just talking about yoga pants/shorts I’m not gonna know what the hell is going on. I literally call one type of dress that chicks wear “tit curtains” because they cut off high and hang straight down so you can’t get an idea of what her stomach is like. I just don’t think we share the right vocabulary.

 

talking while dancing

Careless women never appeal to gentleman. Don’t talk while dancing, for when a man dances he wants to dance

I’m guessing the dancing styles have changed a bit since 1938 but the same rules still apply. Like the majority of dudes who are terrible at dancing, I’m trying not to look like an asshole out there. Can’t be distracting me with questions about what went wrong with my last ex while I try to twirl and dip you because that’s pretty much the only move I’ve got going for me. Somebody’s liable to get dropped that way.

 

wear a bra

 

If you need a brassiere, wear one. Don’t tug at your girdle, and be careful your stockings are not wrinkled

 

WRONG. Only thing they got wrong back then. I won’t deny that a good bra can make some tatas look great but I’ll never advocate putting sweater puppies in a box. Free them titties.

 

dont talk to other dudes

 

 

Don’t be conspicuous talking to other men. The last straw is to pass out from too much liquor. Chances are your date will never call you again!

So don’t flirt with other dudes during the date and don’t get black out / pass out drunk? Oh the humanity! The oppression!

 

funny passed out

 

This last picture is just laugh out loud funny to me. Seen / experienced this scenario dozens of times. Nobody’s wanted to date some sloppy broad who gets drunk and tries to bang every guy in sight for 75 years. Shocker. Time is a flat circle huh?

 

 

 

 

By sobol posted April 21st, 2014 at 4:20 PM

Hipster Paradise: Company Making A Bike That Doubles As A Mobile Coffee Shop

whellyukdds

jhdjkfhg

TreeHugger.Com- The trend of upscale coffee shops such as Starbucks has been crowding small independent café owners out of business over the last couple of years, at least in places where real estate costs are high and the demographics of café customers seem to prefer a premium experience. But these coffee giants’ reliance on brick-and-mortar locations has a distinct disadvantage in the mobile market, and a Swedish design firm thinks they have an answer to the question of how an independent coffee shop could compete with them, especially for potential eco-entrepreneurs with minimal startup funds. The Nordic Society For Invention and Discovery (NSID) has developed one possible solution for a low-cost and low-impact competitor in the crowded coffee market, and it can be yours for just $3000. The Wheely’s concept is a mini coffee shop on a cargo bike, complete with a solar powered battery pack for brewing java, a cold sink for ice, gas burners, a speaker system for music, and a parasol to keep the sun or rain off the tiny café.

Fucking hipsters.  They’re gonna be all over this.  At least the ones who can afford it.  It has everything that gives those sweater-wearing, counter culture weirdos an eco-friendly boner: it’s anti-establishment, it’s independent, it’s coffee, it won’t pollute the earth, it’s solar powered, and it’s a fucking bike.  Hipsters love bikes.  Throw the music of some indie rock band whose “early stuff before they made it big was their best music” on that speaker system and it’s hipster paradise.  It’ll be like cat nip for hipsters.  Now, I live in Iowa where the number of actual hipsters is pretty low.  You’ll see a few here and there but it’s not an epidemic.  It’s nothing like big cities where there are armies of these fucking people.  If you live somewhere like Chicago or New York or San Francisco, expect to start seeing these things everywhere.  They’ll be popping up like weeds.  And then once they’re every where, you’ll stop seeing them entirely.  Because that’s how hipsters roll.  They like something niche until it’s not niche anymore.  The worst type of people.  Why can’t they just go to Starbucks like everybody else?  That’s the best coffee around.

PS- I actually respect the hell outta the company producing these bikes.  They understand what’s going on in 2014.  They see that being a hipster is “in” right now.  So why not produce something hipsters will buy, jack up the price on them and then laugh at those idiots as you count your money all the way to the bank?  Genius.  Establishment wins yet again.

By trent posted April 21st, 2014 at 3:40 PM

Blackhawks vs Blues: Everything Is Still Pretty Much Okay

 

Absolutely terrible start to the series. The Hawks are literally seconds away from being up 2-0 heading home. Instead they are limping home without a win and facing a must win game without one of the best defensemen in the NHL. Depression city.  Title defense probably over, right? Fuck no.

Need a little Ted Nugent to set the mood for the rest of this blog

Jonathan Bryan Toews

You see that guy right there above? That’s Jonathan Bryan Toews. Does he look scared to you?  The Blackhawks have been in worse positions than this before since he’s been Captain. More times than not the team rallies. This team, from Toews on down, always answers the bell. This team thrives under adversity. It gets them hard. It forces them to find their top level.  Just like last year vs Detroit this could spring board the Hawks into another Cup run.  It starts tonight. Lets fucking go.

 

Loose pucks:

–Same lines as the end of Game 2. Bickell-Toews-Saad, Sharp-Handzus-Hossa, Versteeg-Shaw-Kane, Bollig-Kruger-Smith.  I don’t love these lines. Normally I am guy who just throws his hands up and praises Coach Q, but I think the team needs a spark. I would load up with Bickell-Toews-Kane, Sharp-Smith-Hossa, Saad-Shaw-Versteeg, Morin-Handzus-Kruger.  Everyone knows I love Bollig, but to over-simplify things Morin is a more dangerous offensive player. Bollig’s ice has been limited anyways. Morin is more likely to have an impact. Can’t take Handzus out of the lineup because of his ability on the dot and on the PK.

–I said right away that I thought the Seabrook hit merited a suspension, but I think three games is too much. The 5 minute major already cost the Hawks a game. I think that’s the worst punishment. Suspending him for Game 3 would be fair, anything more than that feels a bit like double jeopardy. Seabrook doesn’t have a history of dirty hits. Basing suspensions off of the results of the game in which they occurred might seem flimsy, but that’s just the type of thinker I am. Outside the box.

–Crawford has been taking heat per usual. Does he need to be better, yes absolutely. But so does everyone else. He has played well enough to win. If he’s fractionally better going forward the Hawks will be just fine.

–The Hawks’ biggest advantage in this series, on paper, is their high end forwards. Well they haven’t had an impact yet. The old cliche in hockey is “your best players have to be your best players”. Well no time like the present. The Hawks need Toews, Kane, Sharp, and Hossa to be all-stars tonight, and every night going forward to win.

–Losing Seabrook for the next three games is going to be tough. I think Q will end up leaning more heavily on Keith, Oduya, Hjalmarsson, and Rozsival. Limited minutes for Brookbank. I would be more worried about Brookbank if the Blues were a speed oriented team, but he’s a steady, stay at home type who can bang with the Blues’ big bodies down low. Probably an ideal matchup for him in a lot of ways.

–Powerplay has to be better. Shaw has been solid all year in that net presence role, but with Bickell being engaged I think he is probably a better option for the top unit. Seabs will definitely be missed on the PP as well. Oduya/Rozsival probably fill that role.

 

PS: I will jumping on AM670 post-game. So tune in if you’re interested in that type of thing.


By theChief posted April 21st, 2014 at 2:50 PM

Yes Duncan Keith Saying “Wakey Wakey Backes” Was Probably In Poor Taste But Don’t Tell Me Its Not A Hilarious Chirp

 

 

 

So this is the story today. Duncan Keith is such a monster because he talked trash during a playoff hockey game. Chicago is a bunch of scumbags and Keith is an asshole blah blah blah. Yes I’ll say that taunting a guy who is living on the moon isn’t the best look but give me a fucking break. Wakey Wakey Backes is legitimately funny. It’s playoff hockey, guys talk shit. David Backes has talked shit, Duncan Keith has talked shit and everyone on that ice has talked shit. Anyone who is legitimately offended by this or thinks Duncan Keith is some maniac either A) Never played a single sport in their life or B) Is an overly dramatic PC pussy. Hindsight being 20/20 it doesn’t look great but that’s the point, it’s heat of the moment, you can’t judge all of these guys actions after dissecting film, not after they’re battling with everything they have night in and night out. That’s just being a hypocritical douche.

By Big Cat posted April 21st, 2014 at 2:35 PM

Chick Tries To Break It Down On The Edge Of A Shower, Sucks At It And Falls

Happy late Easter to all of us!  I’m sitting here being a piece of shit, eating a giant bag of leftover candy and this lady decides to start breaking it down on the edge of her shower.  An odd place to dance especially in high heels.  Super unsafe but whatever.  Too bad she sucks at dancing.  Even before she got a little too fast and loose at the end and fell I wasn’t into it.  Oh well.  Despite no arousal, it’s always fun to watch people fall down regardless of the context.

PS- I’m terrified that this video is fake.  Terrified is an understatement.  I’m covering Chicago the rest of the day for Big Cat and the last thing I need to do is post a fake video like a certain ex-Barstool blogger had the tendency to do.

By trent posted April 21st, 2014 at 2:00 PM

Golf Season Is Back!

Bku8VJuCUAEw1n0.jpg large

 

Hardwork, Dedication, walking on a treadmill with your golf bag. These are the things that separate the men from the boys.

 

 

OR you could just be a normal person and get a cart, get drunk and quit after 12 holes. Whatever works.

 

 

 

h/t Andy

By Big Cat posted April 21st, 2014 at 1:10 PM

Giada De Laurentiis Is So Classy Hot I Can’t Stand It

 

 

 

Well, that’s one way to do Easter. We post a million instagram chicks a week on Barstool. Girls that are blazing hot but have a million pounds of makeup on and fake tits and the whole 9. Well not Giada, coming in with that subtle classy sex appeal. Is she dressed appropriate for Easter? Yup. Do you want to jump her bones because she’s got that hint of cleavage and a spring dress on? YUUUUUP. That’s how it’s done right there. Almost makes me forget that she purposefully pronounces words like Moooozerell in an annoying way. Almost.

By Big Cat posted April 21st, 2014 at 11:50 AM

Time For A Big Cat Funk Buster

1

3

 

 

Well I wish we could have that weekend back. From Thursday night to Sunday night Chicago teams went a combined 2-8, and the 2 wins? 1 each from the White Sox and Cubs which basically means they were all but meaningless. Hawks lost 2 absolute heart breakers, Bulls lost game 1 at home after playing some of the worst Defense I’ve seen all year and overall things aren’t exactly looking so hot for the Sports in this city for the next 4 months (except for the Sky). But as you know, I’m not a pessimist, it’s not part of my makeup. We can sit around and cry and be babies about how bad everything is or we can change our attitude and look at the bright side of things. Turn things around and get the momentum going the other way (I realize this has zero impact on how the teams actually do but whatever).

 

-The Hawks play their next two games at home, they’ll win both.

-Thibs will make an adjustment after game 1 because that’s what Thibs does and the Bulls will smoke the Wizards on Tuesday night.

-The White Sox are sort of not bad, that’s pretty sweet.

-Wrigley is always fun to watch a game (this is the nicest thing I could come up with for the Cubs).

-The aforementioned Sky kick off their season May 13, best record in the regular season last year, Woop Woop!

 

 

So there it is, not that bad. Now for the funk buster. You know the rules, buy something you don’t need and look at some hot chicks.

 

 

1. Buy something you don’t need.

 

Before we get to this I don’t think I ever gave a formal review for my last funk busting purchase. Well here it is, it’s a 10. High altitude mask. It’s like working out without leaving my chair. My lungs have never been stronger.

 

 

 

 

Oh and this blog, I blogged it at 10,000 feet above sea level, nbd.

 

Now for my new purchase, Taco Truck. A truck to serve me my tacos. Totally pointless? You bet your ass it is. But let me ask you a question. Would you rather eat your taco’s off your plate like a homeless person with no class or eat your taco’s off a mini plastic truck like royalty? Exactly.

2 1

 

 

 

2. Hot girls to look at.

 

A bikini a day instagram page. The best one two combo in the game. Now lets get positive.

Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.48.37 PM

Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.48.26 PM

Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.48.03 PM

Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.47.41 PM

Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.47.16 PM

Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.47.07 PM

Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.46.47 PM Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.46.38 PM Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.46.27 PM Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.46.17 PM Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.45.42 PM Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.45.32 PM Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.45.20 PM Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 10.45.14 PM

By Big Cat posted April 21st, 2014 at 11:00 AM
© 2014 Barstool Sports | Disclaimer | Copyright | Privacy Policy | Media Kit